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Hi,
Well, people will probably think this is a crank post, but it's not. It's all true. I've never told anyone about this before, but I'm scared to death of doctors and hospitals, and could never go there. I'm pretty sure I have this crap, and if so, I've had it for 9 years now. I first noticed my left nut was enlarged in Jan. of '97, when I was 18. It didn't hurt at the time, though gradually pain did develop, and now it pretty much hurts all the time. It's hard and at least twice the size of the other one (although that one's pretty small and probably subnormal), and hard. I didn't have any other symptoms for a long time--no back pain or anything. About three years ago I started noticing weakness on my right side which very slowly got worse and worse. About two months ago I started getting this dizziness which only goes away when I'm lying down. I can also hardly concentrate on anything, which is not useful since I'm supposed to be finishing a Ph.D. thesis. I'm pretty much miserable every moment of every day, except when I'm asleep or drunk, which happens quite a bit these days. I guess in the beginning I just hoped it was nothing, or else I would experience a miraculous cure. That hasn't happened, and now I just pray for death, since I'm pretty sure I have TC (seminoma, since it spreads so slow?), and it's spread to the brain at least. (I also have shortness of breath and very lately have noticed some bone pain in my arms and legs, so probably lung and bone as well). My odds of cure are probably shot now anyways, so I'm just hoping I go soon. I guess my question is--does this garbage actually kill people, or not? My fear is that I'll just persist in this miserable state for years and years, when all I want to do now is curl up and die. It doesn't help that my research hasn't gone all that well, my scientific career is in the tank, and my history with women has been a pathetic string of humiliations (wonder how well it would go if i were a hemi-eunuch). Oh, well. I'm probably sterile anyway, judging from the pathetic appearance of my "healthy" nut. Just a failed male, a freak with messed up gonads. Not that I would really want to bring children into this awful garbage world where crap like nut cancer exists. Anyways, I know I really couldn't handle the treatments for this--I hate pain and am terrified of vomiting.
So what should I do? Right now I'm considering packing my scrotum in explosives and flipping a switch. I may even submit a paper to a medical journal on 'Testicular Detonation Therapy.' I think it will be even more effective than the weedkiller of Einhorn and crew. What do you think?
Well, people will probably think this is a crank post, but it's not. It's all true. I've never told anyone about this before, but I'm scared to death of doctors and hospitals, and could never go there. I'm pretty sure I have this crap, and if so, I've had it for 9 years now. I first noticed my left nut was enlarged in Jan. of '97, when I was 18. It didn't hurt at the time, though gradually pain did develop, and now it pretty much hurts all the time. It's hard and at least twice the size of the other one (although that one's pretty small and probably subnormal), and hard. I didn't have any other symptoms for a long time--no back pain or anything. About three years ago I started noticing weakness on my right side which very slowly got worse and worse. About two months ago I started getting this dizziness which only goes away when I'm lying down. I can also hardly concentrate on anything, which is not useful since I'm supposed to be finishing a Ph.D. thesis. I'm pretty much miserable every moment of every day, except when I'm asleep or drunk, which happens quite a bit these days. I guess in the beginning I just hoped it was nothing, or else I would experience a miraculous cure. That hasn't happened, and now I just pray for death, since I'm pretty sure I have TC (seminoma, since it spreads so slow?), and it's spread to the brain at least. (I also have shortness of breath and very lately have noticed some bone pain in my arms and legs, so probably lung and bone as well). My odds of cure are probably shot now anyways, so I'm just hoping I go soon. I guess my question is--does this garbage actually kill people, or not? My fear is that I'll just persist in this miserable state for years and years, when all I want to do now is curl up and die. It doesn't help that my research hasn't gone all that well, my scientific career is in the tank, and my history with women has been a pathetic string of humiliations (wonder how well it would go if i were a hemi-eunuch). Oh, well. I'm probably sterile anyway, judging from the pathetic appearance of my "healthy" nut. Just a failed male, a freak with messed up gonads. Not that I would really want to bring children into this awful garbage world where crap like nut cancer exists. Anyways, I know I really couldn't handle the treatments for this--I hate pain and am terrified of vomiting.
So what should I do? Right now I'm considering packing my scrotum in explosives and flipping a switch. I may even submit a paper to a medical journal on 'Testicular Detonation Therapy.' I think it will be even more effective than the weedkiller of Einhorn and crew. What do you think?
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