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How to tell to our children?

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  • How to tell to our children?

    Wow, i realize that now that i am cured, i never told to my 2 daughters about my cancer. I told them that i was following treatment for a little disease and never pronounced the word cancer. My oldest daughter asked me a few minutes ago 'what are you doing on tc-cancer.com?'. What should i do? If i talk to her about it she will be affraid because she's affraid of everything.
    Eric

    Stage 1 seminoma in august 2001
    with invaded spermatic chord and treated with RT
    Relapse november 2005, 4 BEP and now back to surveillance

  • #2
    My four kids are all very well aware that I had cancer, but that I've been treated for it and am doing great. They are also well aware that I spend a lot of time on TC-Cancer.com, because I think it's important to help other people.
    Scott, [email protected]
    right inguinal orchiectomy 6/5/2003 > nonseminoma, stage I > surveillance > L-RPLND 6/24/2005 for recurrence, suspected teratoma but found seminoma, stage II > chylous ascites until 9/2005 > surveillance and "all clear" since


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    • #3
      Eric,
      Our daughter is 9. With us, my husband's surgery was as an outpatient so he really wasn't away from home very long. We told her daddy had an operation for something only men get and please don't jump on him when he's lying on the floor! Radiation was done early afternoon so he was back by the time she was home from aftercare. He was nauseous and didn't join us for dinner some nights but she really didn't press as to why. I guess everyting was so "under the radar" we could avoid it. My Dad died of lung cancer shortly before my husband was diagnosed and I just did not want to mention cancer unless I needed to so as to spare her the anxiety and fear. I think a big part with us was that my husband hasn't told anyone...so if she knew the whole town would find out. If he ever needs chemo we will sit down and tell her all about it. God willing he will never have a recurrence, and when she gets older we'lll tell her. I think it is important for her to know cancer can be beaten and life does go on. YOur daughter may have developed some fears already by what she's overheard, seen, and pieced together. You telling her it's behind you and you're fine may be a good thing.
      Retired moderator. Husband, left I/O 16Dec2005, stage I seminoma with elevated b-HCG, no LVI, RTx15 (25Gy). All clear ever since.

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      • #4
        my kids are 6 and 3 and when i cane home from the rplnd my wife and tried to explain it as best we could ....and to this day a year and 4 months later they still want to see daddty "boo boo" and kiss it to make it better ... thats the rplnd scar not the i/o scar ...dont need child services coming to the house so i want to make that clear
        diagnosed jan 19, 2005 - right i/o jan 21- ct scan and x rays clear-- march 14 rplnd... mixed germ cell

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        • #5
          That's great!

          My son David, who just turned 8, told me in the pool today, "I can still see your [L-RPLND] scars. They're really visible!"

          I'm kind of proud of them now. They give me character.

          As for my I/O scar, it's faded away to nothing.
          Scott, [email protected]
          right inguinal orchiectomy 6/5/2003 > nonseminoma, stage I > surveillance > L-RPLND 6/24/2005 for recurrence, suspected teratoma but found seminoma, stage II > chylous ascites until 9/2005 > surveillance and "all clear" since


          Your donation funds Livestrong services for people facing cancer now. Please sponsor my ride!

          Comment


          • #6
            When my husband was diagnosed, Jeff was 5 years old and in kindergarten. In those days, they kept you in the hospital for two weeks after the RPLND surgery so Jeff needed to know where his father was. He was in the hospital during the middle of September right when school started. I will never forget open house. His teacher came up to me and said "Little children tend to tell stories and Jeff told a whopper. He said that his father was in the hospital because he had surgery for cancer." I replied "That is why he isn't here tonight." She was shocked "How can someone so young have cancer?" She took this information and turned it into a learning experience for the children. She turned a quarter of the room into a "hospital" and taught the kids about doctor and nurses and tests and surgery so they would not be afraid. It was a very kind thing for her to do. It made Jeff feel special.
            Spouse: I/O 8/80; embryonal, seminoma, teratoma; RPLND 9/80 - no reoccurrence - HRT 8/80; bladder cancer 11/97; reoccurrence: 4X
            Son: I/O 11/04; embryonal, teratoma; VI; 3XBEP; relapse 5/08; RPLND 6/18/08 - path: mature teratoma

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            • #7
              Diane:
              Waht a great thing for a teacher to do. There are angels everywhere.
              Son Jason diagnosed 4/30/04, stage III. Right I/O 4/30/04. Graduated College 5/13/04. 4XEP 6/7/04 - 8/13/04. Full open RPLND 10/13/04. All Clear since.

              Treated by Dr. Rakowski of Midland Park, NJ. Visited Sloan Kettering for protocol advice. RPLND done at Sloan Kettering.

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              • #8
                i still havent told my kids about the cancer i just havent found a way to sit them down and tell them yet but i'm working on it

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