Scared

[jenpat]

Me and my fiance have been seperated for about 8 months...we have 2 childred--6 and 4--and have been recently talking about working things out and taking things one-day at a time....
He comes home from work oneday and calls me...he thinks he may have a hernia...two weeks later he is having his right testical removed...and is now currently waiting for test results.

Follow-up after surgery, the doc says seminoma..blah..blah...looks good, go to see this uncologist...no big deal...We go see the uncologist, he does the CT Scan, he says the other doctor was way off....CT Scan is bad...Stage III, I don't know all the lingo yet...and sends him off for a chest x-ray...which we are now awaiting the results of...he has to have his markers done and we will get both of those results November 14th....

Patrick, my fiance, claims to have a high tolerance for pain, etc...but he had an awful time with the surgery that was supposed to be a day surgery...ending up in a two-day hospital stay while they tried to manage his pain....Most of the stories I have read dealing with Stage III, the initial Orc surgery was the easy part, and this scares me....

He thinks he is going to be able to work and has done no research at all, I just started figuring out what is really going on in the last few days, I am petrified now, compared to how I felt with no knowledge on the subject...I know you have to know what is going to happen and what the doctors are telling you, but I am thinking at this point I should do the worrying and questioning and let him relax in these next few weeks before treatment begins....Did anyone try to file for disability? How did that go....

We are not living together right now...but need to be asap, I want to be able to be here all the time, not the once or twice a week living apart has allowed...

[Scott]

Welcome, jenpat. Do you have the pathology report details? Do you have blood test results from before surgery? What exactly did the CT scan show? The more information you can collect, the more we can help.

[DianeE]

Hi Jenpat,

You must be frantic about now, which is pretty much normal for
the caregivers!! I was totally over the edge when my son was
diagnosed!!

You're going to be a great asset for Patrick as he gets through
this ordeal.

There are many guys on this site who were initially diagnosed
Stage III and have been cured, so don't let that medical terminology
scare you too much. The whole cancer thing is scary, but always
keep in mind, this is a highly curable cancer, even if it has spread.

As Scott mentioned in his post, let us know as much as you can about
Patrick's path results and blood work. Don't be afraid to ask questions
about anything to the folks on this forum and to Patrick's doctors.

About the pain thing---my son went through the I/O, RPLND, and
two rounds of chemo, and he has mentioned the pain of the I/O
more often than anything so I'm not surprised to read about Patrick's
pain.

I hope the kids are OK. Kids are very observant and understand
what is going on around them, more than we think!

The folks on this forum are wonderful. Keep asking and you
will get answers!!

Diane

[jenpat]

Thank you...

Thanks so muh for responding...since this has happened I feel like I am in a different world and it helps so much to talk to people that don't just look at you with a blank face...becuase they don't know what to say....

I have not received any real results...things happened so quickly and Pat is being treated at the county hospital, so the doctors have not been to great at explaining what is going on...Plus we had no idea what kinds of questions we should be asking...

Right after the I/O, the doctor called me on the phone in the waiting room and said it was definitely a tumor, we got it out, and we'll have to wait for the biopsy results. Come back in a week and we'll talk about it.

Ten minutes later a nurse comes in and says, so you talked to the doctor, I am so sorry, I know you were hoping in was not cancer...I am like CANCER..what are you talking about...the doctor never said that to me...and she looked very confused....

The next week we come back, have a blood test done, never get the results back or even a reason for the blood test, then the doctor told us that it is cancer but seminoma, and send Pat the the oncologist at a different hospital.

He went to that appointment alone, got the bad news, and only has non-sense paperwork, nothing with actual results on it, so at this point I know what questions to ask and I know why they are taking the tests they are taking, but I don't know the exact specifics.

Thanks to all of you guys for sharing your stories, I have a better idea what to expect, what is going on, and what I should be asking these doctors who don't even have the decency to talk to us face to face...

Some of my biggest worries are of the financial short right now, because once he starts treatment, I dn't want him to bare any of those kinds of burdens...and with two kids and a full time job....Just figuring out how he is going to get to treatment is going to be an ordeal...I have been finding a lot of helpful information on a lot of differnet sites that help in these matters, so I will keep writing and calling and asking questions....Just knowing that places like this exist has already eased my mind....

Thank you for your kind words and concern....as soon as I find out the actual results, I am sure I will have a million questions...