Funny stories from time spent in the hospital

[Jay68442]

All of us dealt with some hard times while in the hospital. I prefer to remember the good times. I always tried to make the best of the time I spent there. As I have mentioned before I was 16 when diagnosed. I spent my 16th and 18th birthdays in the hospital. As a young man the best thing I can remember about my time in the hospital were the nurses. Especially the night nurses, they were usually younger (a little closer in age to me). I would sleep during the day so I could spend more time with them at night. It was a running joke between the nurses, if I liked them I would walk out of the shower naked while they were in the room. Looking back it wasn't the brightest idea to expose myself like that but as a teenager it was fun. Hey they saw it a thousand times anyway. We shared many a story the night nurses and I and I even thought some of them to dance the newest steps at that time. If any nurses are reading this, I would like to say Thank You for making our stay that much more enjoyable. I would also like to apologize for the trouble I caused. Like the time I strung some iv tubing across the room so my room-mate and I could play volleyball. Only 24 hours out of surgery. Or the time I had wheel chair races down the hall with a few of the other patients. And even the time my doctor walked in on me doing something I wasn't supposed to be doing with my girlfriend. She was not happy with me after that. Man the good old days.

Anyway if you have some funny stories lets hear them.

[Margaret]

Does snapping a Polaroid of Boyce when his remaining testicle was swollen to the size of a cantaloupe (after his RPLND) count?? I made him laugh until he hurt so bad he hit the morphine button.

[dannysbrother]

Hey Jay,

LOL!

If you and Danny would have had simultaneous hospital stays in the same place, I think they would have had to call the authorities!




michael

[MRMRSU]

Okay, so for Andy's laparotomy the docs had to inject the lymphatic system with blue dye in hopes that they could locate the tears in his lymphatic tissue. Well, unfortunately instead of being absorbed by his lymphatics, the dye was absorbed by his urinary system...so the catheter/foley bag was a dark ink blue for the first few days after that surgery. There was a male nursing assistant who was put in charge of emptying the foley bag while our nurse went into a consult with the surgeon. He came into the room, saw the ink blue foley bag, his eyes became wide as can be. And just as soon as he locked eyes on the foley which seemed to stop him dead in his tracks, he then slowly retreated away from Andy's bed towards the door saying "I'll go get someone." The poor thing looked so scared...come to think of it, he never did come back to our room the rest of the day!!! Andy and I still laugh about that...ah, good times!

[Vinny]

Three stories, two of which are anesthesia-related:

When I went to have my port put in before chemo, I wasn't put all the way under, but after the procedure they came to take a chest x-ray to make sure the port was in the right place and (according to my wife) I proceeded to tell one of the nurses the secret recipe for a frozen adult beverage called bourbolicious, as if I had been given a truth serum by the Russians.

Then, as I was getting ready to leave, the curtains were open in the post-op area and I started walking and noticed my pants were on backwards. So, in front of the whole world, I stopped, yelled out "my pants are on backwards!", dropped trou and fixed the problem.

When I went in the next year to have my lung surgery, there was a cute nursing student assigned to me for a day. She came in while my wife was there and asked if there was anything she could do, like a sponge bath or a massage or anything. So I told my wife, "could you give us some time alone, please?"

I like to think it worked out well for everyone - I got a cute girl to rub me down, my wife got a break from catching my puke, and the student got to work on a not-so-old patient for a change. Still, the first time I tried to walk after surgery, she had a helluva time trying to get me situated in the walker while still attached to my foley bag. Definitely a Three Stooges moment.

[drom]

Alex was diagnosed at Christmas and started chemo on the 22nd and was in the hospital for Christmas. I arrived at the hospital Christmas morning around 6am to find a live small Christmas tree, decorated with lights sitting in a waste paper basket next to his bed. The lights from the tree were the only lights on in the room and I was dumbfounded to say the least.

I asked the nurse on duty where the tree came from, she said she didn't know but it was against regulations, she thought I put it there but it wasn't me, I asked her if it was some Christmas miracle.

Turns out the nurse on the overnight shift set it up, told Alex a boy his age shouldn't be in a hospital for Christmas and wanted him to have a tree. Later on she wrote him a letter on what an inspiration his courage was to her.

Pretty amazing and indicitive of all our experiences.

Domenic

[Already Bald]

Funny RPLND Story

Hi All, this is sure to make you smile:
I just want to preface this by stating, I had not registered onto these forums until after my RPLND and before chemo, so I went into the RPLND without all of your help.

I live in Chester County, PA; I guess about a 3 hour drive from Mount Kisco, NY- in WestChester County. I stayed with friends there in Mt. Kisco the night before my RPLND. My wife and I were a little frantic getting everything ready, what with our two little kids, and getting the dog to the kennels.. Busy time. So when we were ready I drank down my bowel prep, went to the bathroom and all was well. So, then we got into the car and drove PA Turnpike to the NJ Turnpike...
WOW, Big mistake!! I did not have the proper respect for the power of the bowel prep!! I violated every reststop along those roads, and had to use my daughters emergency potty on the side of the NJ Turnpike as well!

Boyce, I'll challange your wing bowl story with this ride anyday!

[Already Bald]

Body hair, anyone?

I'm a pretty hairy guy, except for you know- my head.
When I went into the IO, I was a little dissapointed with the hack job the nurse did on my pubes and abdomen hair. It seemed to be razor burnt and just... sloppy. So I figured I would give the nurses at Sloan a break, and shave my belly before the RPLND.
HA- I stood in the bathtub and jammed up about 4 or 5 bic razors, making a complete mess of myself. So then I tried my old beard trimmer- that damn thing wasn't working at all! My wife tried to help out, but all her dainty little crap was no match for the rainforest I call abdomen hair!
You should have seen it- some streaks of skin would show through, it was completely irregular- if was if a 5 year old tried to cut his own hair, and just decided to stop half way through.

I decide that I can't go into the OR like this tomorrow, so I keep working at it with the Bics, until I nick myself just a little bit. So I had to stop- they may not want to operate if I have a cut- with risk to infection and all that.

Next thing you know I'm busy with the bowel prep (see previous post), and basically forget about it.
In the morning I walked into that OR, the nurse and the anesthesiologist were hovering, I pulled her over and apologized in advance for the body hair fiasco and that I'm not some kind of nut - She said don't worry about it, Sheinfeld does all the shaving himself

I wonder if he remembers?

[Margaret]

I about wet my pants reading about you using your daughter's potty! Get out the camera!

[Already Bald]

Had some fun with the employees at the Diagnostic Imaging Center

I was in a fun mood when I went for my CXR on Friday. This is a big imaging center, always with a full waiting room. It seems I'm there all the time, and there is usually a different person checking me in.

So the lady says to me,
"Have you ever been diagnosed with cancer?"
(she is looking right at my file)- I said,
"Geez, I don't know- does it matter?" She said, "YES, we need to know- it is VERY important!"
So I said, "Okay, last year I was diagnosed with non-seminoma mixed germ cell cancer with embryonal carcinoma, teratoma and choriocarcinoma."
She said, "Oh. Have a seat."

Then I went in to see the tech, and she also asked if I ever had cancer.
I told her, "Yes, I had testicular cancer".
Then, unbelievably, she went on to ask if I had one or both testicles removed?? (remember, this is for a chest xray).
So I lifted my shirt and showed my RPLND scar and said, "Actually, they had to remove three testicles, but I'm okay, they left the big one in!"

[Russell's Mom]

Well, this happened outside of the hospital, but funny just the same. Recently I had shared with my oldest son that Russell has internal abdominal clips that remain in his abdomen. The subject had just not come up and I have been letting Russell just deal with some of the other obsticles for a while. My oldest shared....."you really do need to tell Russell, he needs to know!" So this morning I shared the fact...there are clips..then stood by as mothers do. An intersting and somewhat serious look came over Russell's face, then he sort of went into a thought bubble. He looked back at me and said...."I'm going to see if I can find them with a stud finder!!" Take care, Sharon

[Fish]

He looked back at me and said...."I'm going to see if I can find them with a stud finder!!"

Sharon, that made my day!
I would never, ever have thought of that. But tell Russell I'm going to try it!

[TCLEFT]

Sharon, that made my day!
I would never, ever have thought of that. But tell Russell I'm going to try it!

OK, now you've got my odd curiosity going. I didn't have the RPLND so I can't try it, but if you hold a compass up close, will it point to you?

[Scott]

We can't keep a stud finder in my house. It keeps going off every time I get too close.

[TCLEFT]

We can't keep a stud finder in my house. It keeps going off every time I get too close.

I just can't bring myself to type this. I must be getting old. It did involve pocket change Just kidding my manly Bro!