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Break up soon after diagnosis

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  • #16
    TC doesn't usually spread to the blood, but with some types,it can happen. My guess is he may not be asking the right questions to get accurate info from his docs. What I don't get is why he is still pushing you away. In the 30+ years we've been together, both my wife & I have been caregiver & patient in turn. As patients, we both appreciated that the other was there both for moral support & to help recall what was said at Dr visits. Also to ask the questions we didn't think of because we weren't up to snuff. This is what life partners do for each other. It does not seem that you two are that comfortable yet. I really hope you can get there.

    Jan, 1975: Right I/O, followed by RPLND
    Dec, 2009: Left I/O, followed by 3xBEP


    • #17
      Spread to his blood would as Dave said be unusual - I wonder if he means spread via his blood. Vascular invasion and spreading of cancer cells via bloodstream to other parts of the body is more common.


      • #18
        I also think it is more of a "spread through/entered bloodstream", if they did not mention the possible surgery I am betting it was more of a Stage 1 of something, lymph nodes intact.

        Well he called me to talk on Saturday and the next day instead of calling asked to come over. We talked about nothing and catching up, he then got comfortable and did not want to leave and stayed the night. In the veil of the night he said the stuff about his hands impaired being too much to live with and he does not want to bring a woman to that if he hears bad news and decides to end treatment. Then to me directly something like he figured out several reasons why he does not want to be with me, upon pressing for like 5 minutes for any specifics he said he has some sort of a weakness for me but sometimes he is attracted to me and sometimes not(????). I asked him if he wants to see each other and he said he did not know. Then he would not let me out of his sight until the morning and cuddled nonstop and were intimate before that talk as well.
        So here I am, confused as.... , but I just want him to be fine, that is why I am inquiring about the neuropathy and any ideas on how to lift spirits. I only wonder if he is fighting his heart with his brain through the "I just might decide to die next week" or if it was some sort of goodbye or he just needed someone,anyone close to him.
        I am only sorry I did not say I loved him then, I was weighing the options on whether he needs to hear it to maybe try to fight or not hear it since he needs to focus on getting well and I read cancer patients sometimes react badly to that thinking we say it only because of the illness or something.