Originally posted by Maggie
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I feel exactly the same!
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You need to go, for both of your sakes. Its what your brother wants - don't let him down now! Since you've gotten him through the toughest part of treatment, done all the research, and kept all his records - it will so much easier for the rest of your family to step in. You've laid the groundwork beautifully and now its time to reap the reward.
We will keep your brother in our prayers. Best of luck to you.
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Originally posted by Ainsleigh View PostWe live in South Africa and I went to audition in London for my MA Degree at one of the best Drama Schools in the world. I GOT IN! There were 4,000 of us who auditioned and only 25 places... and I GOT IN!!!
The exhorbitant fees have been paid to the school and I am supposed to be leaving in a month. All the way to London.
Your family is right, Wes will recover better without feeling guilty. Try to imagine if your roles were reversed, don't you think it would hinder your recovery knowing Wes had given up something that special? The best way for you to help Wes now is to make the most of this chance to pursue your dream. I suspect that will do him more good than anything else you could do if you stayed behind.
Dave
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I've had to grow up.... FAST!
Hello dear caregivers,
I am 23 years old and caregiver to my 27 year old brother, Wesley.
We are quite a duo - I often wander what doctors must think when we power through their doors (me packed with my files of research and copies of Wes' scans and reports), and bald Wes smiling away because he knows I have everything sorted. After all, we really are quite young.
I know oncology rooms, hospitals and X-Ray departments like the back of my hands.
Who would have EVER thought this would be my life???
Anyway. Enough gloating.
I'm exhausted by all of this. Seriously. 10 months of trudging this bloody disease and it is NOT getting easier.
I have a bit of a dillema and I would love some advice.
I have been looking after Wes for 10 months now. Everyday - being his mentor, life coach and caregiver.
We live in South Africa and I went to audition in London for my MA Degree at one of the best Drama Schools in the world. I GOT IN! There were 4,000 of us who auditioned and only 25 places... and I GOT IN!!!
The exhorbitant fees have been paid to the school and I am supposed to be leaving in a month. All the way to London.
Wes is still going through treatment. We have finally found a surgeon who is willing to remove the teratoma wrapped around his aorta and vena cava. This will take place next week. This is SUCH good news because it means cure is around the corner. Then it will be onto another few rounds of TIP to get his markers to normal.
Do I go pursue my dreams of being an actress and live my dream OR do I stay with Wes through his last bit of treatment?
This is SUCH a difficult decision and I am not sure what to do. Of course I want to go but of course I want to stay. My family tell me that I have already given up a year of my life for him and that I must now go and live for me. They feel that staying will place a lot of guilt on Wes and it isn't fair for someone to harbor that for life. Wes wants me to go too.
This is so difficult!
Advice please
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Great Poem ...thanks!
Just wanted to say that your poem sums up exactly how I feel everyday. I am also a new member and when I came across your poem I came to realize that I am not the only one feeling this way. My husband was diagnosed with TC in August, completed OC and 3 cylces of chemo. He now is waiting for an RPLND and I am so anxious and worried. I just want this awful nightmare to end so we can move forward in our lives. I do believe and I am hopeful that everything will work out!
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Fionna,
WOW, what a way to start your honeymoon! So sorry you had to join us, but glad to have you here for anything we can help with/answer, etc.
Best wishes,
Tracy
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Just wanna say that it's a really nice poem =D
Love the both of them!
Anyway fairly new here =) and I think it's a great place to find out more info and gain support =)
My husband and I just got married last Oct and 2 weeks after that we found out about TC. The first time we heard it, it really caught us off guard. Although I suspected that it might be TC but hearing it from the specialist, telling us about cancer, chemo, sperm banks...WE JUST GOT MARRIED 2 weeks ago! It was a LITTLE too much
But through it all, it's God's grace and peace that have brought us through PLUS we had tremendous awesome people around us supporting us
And I think that this forum is a great place cause it's really important to have other people supporting, what more when they were there before or going through the same ordeal. =)
Just wanna say kudos to all the moderators & members who have contributed so much to make this forum a really nice place =)
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I am a new member too. My husband was diagnosed with TC in August which was a total shock. He had injured his testicle in May and was being treated for a haematoma. At the August appointment we were told that it was not what they thought and it was TC. He had his orchiectomy September 19th. Tumour markers have come down, consultant says it was contained to the testicle but there was evidence of something in the vascular tissue. 2 x BEP starts on Monday. Although we have had all the information it's quite scary to know how the next few months will go. It's really helps reading other peoples experiences on here.
Melanie
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thank you!
I am a new member. My fiance was diagnosed with TC (Seminoma) about 3 weeks ago. He has had an orchiectomy of his right testicle. Scans show no cancer, but bloodwork shows elevated afb levels (tumor markers). We both have been struggling, especially since everything happened so fast, but I showed him the first poem you posted and it made his day. We both send our love and thanks
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sometimes we need a little TLC
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Maybe we should all escape together and go on a cruise (sans spouses, sons, bfs, brothers)!! There are some advantages to becoming older, one is that you finally have the option of saying "take this job and shove it.."(I'll leave the rest of the sentence to TCLEFT). You are really at the point where you are working for yourself. You can tell I have had a bad week. Seriously, as strong as we are, sometimes we need a little TLC or a new pair of shoes or a new bag or a new whatever.. We need to find a respite from this disease, sometimes we even need a break from this forum because it is too gut wrenching. But the bottom line is the power and strength that we get is from each other, no one else truly understands. Dianne
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Hi MOM: You are too cool and too young-at-heart to be eligible for social security, Dianne!!!Congrats...and hey, you can somewhat look at this as Uncle Sam finally doing his part to take care of YOU
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Still trying to shake off the guilt whenever I treat myself to an "escape" Karen...all in due time I guess.
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Dianne,
Well, congrats on the eligibility for SS!!! I definatley can relate to feeling like there's no time for me. I think we all tend to put ourselves last and feel guilty when we "escape". Give me one day, at a quiet beach, eighty degrees, cool breeze, no jellyfish, with a mindless summer fiction paperback and a cooler of an "adult beverage" ......ahhhhhhh.
Cheers!
Karen
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