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  • Losing Friends

    What a night. Jason stopped by right after his scans and as Nancy and he were talking our phone rang. Our very dear friend Bev is nearing the end of her 3 1/2 year battle with sarcoma. We spent most of the night at a local emergency room with her and her husband. This loss, when it happens will be hard, Nancy and Bev are closer then sisters. As it would turn out she was diagnosed a few weeks after Jason and they were both going thru chemo at the same time. One of my enduring images from that awful time was Jason and Bev sitting in our back yard, just the two of them, talking laughing and crying together. I never did ask what they said and in a sad and wonderful way it was a beautiful moment. This loss will be tough.
    Last edited by dadmo; 10-22-07, 08:14 AM.
    Son Jason diagnosed 4/30/04, stage III. Right I/O 4/30/04. Graduated College 5/13/04. 4XEP 6/7/04 - 8/13/04. Full open RPLND 10/13/04. All Clear since.

    Treated by Dr. Rakowski of Midland Park, NJ. Visited Sloan Kettering for protocol advice. RPLND done at Sloan Kettering.

  • #2
    Bill, Nancy and Jason,
    I am so very sorry for what you are facing with your dear friend Bev. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
    Retired moderator. Husband, left I/O 16Dec2005, stage I seminoma with elevated b-HCG, no LVI, RTx15 (25Gy). All clear ever since.

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    • #3
      I can't even express what I'm feeling. If any of you need anything please let us know. We would do anything for you. Nancy, Bill, Jason, I am so sorry.
      I Love My Pack!

      sigpic

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      • #4
        Words won't help at a time like this, but I am sorry for what you all are dealing with.
        Krista
        Brother Diag. 10/05 Non-Sem.
        Right I/O 11/05
        Surv
        4XBEP 8/06
        RPLND 12/06
        2X VIP 1/22/07
        Only completed 1 Rd.

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        • #5
          I am so very sorry. I hope that the Lord will provide you and your family comfort during this very difficult passing.
          Co-survivor with husband Boyce, Diagnosed 7-11-06, orchiectomy right testicle on 7-12-06- Stage 3A: Mixed germ cell tumor with inguinal seminomatous and kartotypic carcinoma. One tumor over 10 cm, second tumor 4 cm, Chemo 4xBEP: Bi-lateral RPLND Dec 2006, nerve sparing but left sterile.
          Current DVT
          Current testosterone replacement therapy, Testim.

          "You must abandon the life you planned, to live the life that was meant for you" ~wisdom I have learned from my family on this forum

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          • #6
            Dadmo:

            My sympathy, thoughts, and prayers to you, Nancy, and Jason.

            I'm very sorry.
            Fish
            TC1
            Right I/O 4/22/1988
            RPLND 6/20/1988
            TC2
            Left I/O 9/17/2003
            Surveillance

            Tho' much is taken, much abides; and though we are not now that strength which in old days moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are; one equal temper of heroic hearts, made weak by time and fate, but strong in will; to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

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            • #7
              Oh Bill, Nancy and Jason...I lost my soul mate and dear friend to brain cancer four years ago...I will always miss her...it is going to take a long time for that sick feeling in your stomach to leave and for the comfort of memories to begin. She was there for me when I needed her most, I have tried to be there for her husband and children. I think Tennyson wrote “I hold it true, whate’er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; ‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” Through all my pain of losing her...it can't take away the joy of having her as my friend. Unfortunately with love, comes pain. I am so sorry you have to go through this, it is the price we pay. Dianne
              Spouse: I/O 8/80; embryonal, seminoma, teratoma; RPLND 9/80 - no reoccurrence - HRT 8/80; bladder cancer 11/97; reoccurrence: 4X
              Son: I/O 11/04; embryonal, teratoma; VI; 3XBEP; relapse 5/08; RPLND 6/18/08 - path: mature teratoma

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              • #8
                It's just so strange

                We work and pray and laugh and cry and try so much to help others who fight just as hard as we did...and the endings are so varied! And some of them are just so damn sad!

                When we lose someone close to us, we wonder why we bother investing so much only to end up feeling this devastating loss!

                I don't know, Dadmo. Sadly, all of us here have lost loved ones to this Son of a Bi%ching disease. And we keep educating and caring and loving, and ultimately crying over it.

                Why do we do it? I suppose we each have our own reasons. Mine lives with me, sleeps down the hall and calls me "Daddy".

                Maybe there's some comfort in Bev knowing that she was as loved by you all as anyone could ever be. Maybe there's just no comfort to be found.

                One thing is for sure, though. You and Nancy and Jason made Bev's time here better time. You make everyone that you touch through your outreach better. You've made me better, and you are loved and cared for by a whole lot of people.

                We're grieving for you and with you.

                And stunningly, "Man in the Mirror" comes on the radio.

                "If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make the change" You've made it, Bill.
                Stage III Non-Seminoma- 7/11/06
                Right I/O 7/12/06
                Completed 4x BEP 11/06
                Bi-Lateral RPLND (Dr. Shenifeld)- 11/27/06
                Surveillance since then

                When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or Fight Like Hell.
                Lance Armstrong.

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                • #9
                  Gosh, and I promised myself I would not cry today!
                  Co-survivor with husband Boyce, Diagnosed 7-11-06, orchiectomy right testicle on 7-12-06- Stage 3A: Mixed germ cell tumor with inguinal seminomatous and kartotypic carcinoma. One tumor over 10 cm, second tumor 4 cm, Chemo 4xBEP: Bi-lateral RPLND Dec 2006, nerve sparing but left sterile.
                  Current DVT
                  Current testosterone replacement therapy, Testim.

                  "You must abandon the life you planned, to live the life that was meant for you" ~wisdom I have learned from my family on this forum

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I am so sorry!! This is so sad. Not only for the changes to come, but how familiar the feeling is for all. When I was 26, I took care of my best friend all night and then she died in the morning. I still cry for the friendship, the days together, the caring and understanding. Thank-fully time has helped me to find some balance and the knowing that "something bigger is going on here." It is interesting that Russell was born on the day that she died, several years after. My thoughts and prayers will be with you. Words here seem so small, I hope that you can feel the thoughts, the hug!

                    Please let love keep shining through this transition, to strengthen, hold and guide....

                    Lovestrong, Sharon
                    Click here to support my LIVESTRONG Challenge with Team LOVEstrong.

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                    • #11
                      I am numb for you, Moses Family and for your dearest friend Bev and her family. So deeply saddened by your news. I know you will cherish these precious moments holding her hand.

                      There is not enough darkness in this world to dim the glow of one single light. I'm sure, even now, Bev's halo shines brightly.
                      Maria
                      *Hubby Andy diagnosed 02/13/07, Left IO 02/16/07 *Stage 1A Non-Seminoma (65% Immature Teratoma / 35% Embryonal Carcinoma) *RPLND 04/27/07 Lymph Nodes-ALL CLEAR
                      *Complications from Chylous Ascites so Laparotomy 05/03/07 *No food for 10 weeks, TPN only *07/18/07 Removed drains, tubes, picc line *CT Scan 07/31/07-ALL CLEAR
                      *CT Scan 02/12/08-ALL CLEAR *Hydrocele surgery 06/19/08 *CT Scan 9/30/08 and 03/06/09 shows <cm left lung nodule - under surveillance

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                      • #12
                        Nancy is absolutely numb. She has called me several times, always in tears. The only bright part of her day has come because of a new friendship between TCLEFT and Jason. I never thought I would see this happen but today Jason registered for the Philly Livestrong Challenge. He and Nancy will walk the 5 mile route and she will get to hand him his survivors rose. Me? I will ride with TCLEFT.

                        It seems that even in the darkest of times there is sunshine.
                        Son Jason diagnosed 4/30/04, stage III. Right I/O 4/30/04. Graduated College 5/13/04. 4XEP 6/7/04 - 8/13/04. Full open RPLND 10/13/04. All Clear since.

                        Treated by Dr. Rakowski of Midland Park, NJ. Visited Sloan Kettering for protocol advice. RPLND done at Sloan Kettering.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          God has so many blessings, big and small, waiting for us all.
                          Co-survivor with husband Boyce, Diagnosed 7-11-06, orchiectomy right testicle on 7-12-06- Stage 3A: Mixed germ cell tumor with inguinal seminomatous and kartotypic carcinoma. One tumor over 10 cm, second tumor 4 cm, Chemo 4xBEP: Bi-lateral RPLND Dec 2006, nerve sparing but left sterile.
                          Current DVT
                          Current testosterone replacement therapy, Testim.

                          "You must abandon the life you planned, to live the life that was meant for you" ~wisdom I have learned from my family on this forum

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by dadmo
                            Nancy is absolutely numb. She has called me several times, always in tears. The only bright part of her day has come because of a new friendship between TCLEFT and Jason. I never thought I would see this happen but today Jason registered for the Philly Livestrong Challenge. He and Nancy will walk the 5 mile route and she will get to hand him his survivors rose. Me? I will ride with TCLEFT.

                            It seems that even in the darkest of times there is sunshine.
                            I was working on this for about two weeks now. The music is there. The words are emerging. A work in progress so far:
                            Here in the darkness there's a candle still burning bright
                            Through all of Life's harshness I keep pushing with all my might
                            Here inside this cage pacing, my plans erasing before my eyes
                            All I seem to do now is to ask how and ponder why.
                            If there is a plan here, I'll swallow my fear, try not to fail
                            I still see that light burning, make sure it won't go out should I exhale.

                            I am so sorry. I treasure this friendship. I treasure this Family. I am honored. I am humbled. I'm here for whatever I can do for you.
                            Much Love,
                            Mark
                            Last edited by TCLEFT; 08-17-07, 05:35 PM.
                            I Love My Pack!

                            sigpic

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                            • #15
                              Such sadness shouldn't come to wonderful people. I'm so sorry,
                              Bill, Nancy and Jason.

                              Diane

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