Terrified and Overwhelmed

[Renea Rosson]

WOW I hadn't thought of that but I'm sure you're right. I don't have time for that right now but I'm sure when all is said and done, I will lose it for a day or two but I'll be praising the good Lord for the many blessings. Thanks Dadmo for the forewarning. Renea

[justinsmom]

Hi Renea, I haven't been on the site much since the 1st of the year so just saw your posts....I know you have tons of support through all the awesome members of this site, but wanted to let you know as a born again believer I am a prayer warrior and God is good. He WILL get you through this, but He definitely will teach you about "trusting Him" I believed it, and said it but I literally got taught it througout my son's ordeal...Remember that when you have put your faith & trust in Him you have already "passed from death (separation) unto life" (John 5:24) so you can fully trust Him to lead you, to carry you, to shoulder the burden...He knew your son in your womb(Psalm 139) and He alone knows his days so I will pray wisdom for the Drs. and strength for you and his wife....My son was 20 when diagnosed and engaged so I know the pull you have as a mom, this is your "baby" yet his wife, and it can be difficult to know where the boundaries are and yet he's still your child....I will pray for you all, In Christ, Lanette ><> Remember since God holds the whole world in His hands....... don't you think He can carry you?

[Jilleighn]

I am sorry your son is having a hard time. I hope things start to improve. I will say that Dr. Roth is an amazing man. He is one of my husbands doctors and he is very straight forth and does not sugar coat anything.

[justinsmom]

Renea, I am sure you are too consumed with Derick's situation to check this site much, but just wanted to let you know I'm out here praying for God's peace to envelope you....Isaiah 26: 3-4 , Phil. 4:7 one TC mom to another, God Bless, Lanette <><

[Renea Rosson]

Well it has been almost four weeks since I lost my son to this disease called cancer. Right after Derick was gone, I tried to pick myself up right away, show everyone my strength, move on as everyone keeps saying but now four weeks out, it is finally all coming down on me. My strength is diminished, I'm depressed, I cry all the time, sleep only happens with medication and boy do I have many unanswered questions. I'm angry, I'm confused, I'm bitter but at the same time I'm thankful because I know my son was saved and is with the Lord. I do take comfort in that fact but I don't take comfort in the fact that he was only 26 and had three daughters who needed him. I know his youngest who is 2 will never remember him. We can show her pics and talk to her about him but she won't remember his voice or his smile. I tried so hard to be pro active in Dericks healing. I did all the research, I thought I had done all the right things. Although there were many mistakes made in Derick's case. From the beginning, he was misdiagnoised. Several months passed before he was correctly diagnoised. Not that that would have changed things but it just angers me that those types of mistakes are made and it doesn't affect the person making the mistake but the life who was depending on the right diagnoises. Right now, I'm in pain, mentally, emotionally and physically. Most days, I don't want to get up and go to work. I know I have to and I have to put on a different face while at work but once I get home in the solice of my environment, all the emotions begin to surface. My family tries to help, they have tried to surround themselves around me to help to take my mind off Derick but I've told them that's not possible. My oldest son is also experiencing alot of depression. He stays in his apartment most of the time which is a basement apartment, no windows and the lights off. I know some of this is normal after a loss but I truly am concerned. I'm usually such a strong woman and Tim (my oldest son) is such a strong man but this has really beaten us. We have heard all the "it will get better in time", "life goes on", etc. but for me life hasn't gone on. I guess I just needed to vent a little here. I really do appreciate this site and all that are on here. I pray that for each of you, LIFE DOES GO ON. Continue to LIVESTRONG. Derick did everyday. Renea