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I don't know what to do...

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  • I don't know what to do...

    Six months ago I met someone in the US who lives 20,000km away from me. We were there for training. We developed a relationship and saw eachother a few times. Last time we saw eachother he was complaining that his testicle was hurting. Now he was diagnosed with TC. Oddly enough this does not worry me as I know there is hope. The one thing that I have a problem with is that he is very stubborn and does not like doctors touching his testicles. Which of course could be a problem when it come to treatment. I just don't know what to do because he does not want me to stick around. He wants me to move on with my life and find someone else. He's only 32 and he sounds like he's giving up on life. He does not want to listen to me and tells me to forget him. How can I do that? Especially now. I don't know if his doctor told him that it's very curable. I don't understand his thinking...why would he push me away. I know that to him it makes sense because he is sick and he's not sure if he will live long. But to me it makes no sense at all. I don't know much about his case as it's very hard for me to get any documents from him. He still has to go back to his doctor and speak with him.

    I will most likely be going to see him even though he says that I'm stupid to do that. I just don't give up on life and I'm mad that he is. I lost my gradfather to cancer because he didn't like doctors and would not go to see a doctor even though he knew he was sick. So you see that I have a problem with people who give up, especially so young and where the cancer can be treated.

  • #2
    This Site

    Hey there, Why don't you see if he will at least be willing to access this site? Maybe he could find some comfort in reading what many others have been through. April
    Wesley's TC
    90% Embryonal 10% Seminoma
    Stage IIIa
    Treatment: Left I/O 4/11/05
    4XBEP 4/25/05
    08/05 -Surveillance & Many Scans/X-rays


    • #3
      Originally posted by amorgan74
      Hey there, Why don't you see if he will at least be willing to access this site? Maybe he could find some comfort in reading what many others have been through. April
      I wish it was that simple. He lives on an island in the Indian Ocean and speaks French so he would have a hard time reading English. Plus on the island they have slow internet. I already sent him information in French...he just needs access to internet now, which is always a problem...Arghh!!!


      • #4
        Your stubborn boyfriend


        Your boyfriend has a disease that can be treated if he acknowledges it and gets treatment. If he ignores it and lets it progress too far he can die.

        Has it been put to him that way?

        If he is pushing you away, he may not be the best person to be involved with especially if he won't deal with reality. One of my sisters is married to a man who is not dealing with his medical problems and it is certainly wrecking their marriage. Why men fear doctors and won't allow themselves to be treated is beyond me.

        Right side orchiectomy, March 2001, 4.5 cm tumor with probable vascular invasion. Chose surveillance.

        9.5 cm groinal lymph node tumor found in Dec. 2001

        Finished chemo (cisplatin/etopicide) in March 2002.

        Two healthy daughters born naturally after chemo, one in January 2004, another in November 2006.

        Continued remission to present