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Decreased Sex Drive...Cancer? Or Life?

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  • Decreased Sex Drive...Cancer? Or Life?

    Hello everyone and thank you in advance for taking the time to read this post and hopefully offering some suggestions or experiences!

    Almost two years ago, seven months into my second pregnancy with our second child (a son), my husband was diagnosed with testicular cancer. He had the testicle involved removed within 48 hours and following our son being born almost all two months early (stress induced...obviously), my husband did a two-week session of radiation. All went fairly smoothly considering the obvious obstacles and we felt little but relief. (Honestly, I think it may have even improved our quality of life because we began appreciating the things we took for granted pre-cancer.)

    Things continue to be very positive for all of us and all of my husband's 3 month oncology check-ups have yielded nothing other than encouraging information. We feel blessed. All that being said, together we have one tiny concern/question regarding sex drive following this experience.

    We realize it's possible for the changes to be natural - either cancer related, age related, lifestyles related, or all of the above. (Let's be honest, my husband was twenty-nine when diagnosed and now thirty, things are not going to "function" the way they did in his early twenties.) Besides that, we now have two kids, less privacy, we've survived a great deal of stress together in the past two years, etc., etc.

    So, here's the point, I guess, has anyone else experienced a decrease in sex drive following this surgery? cancer? experience? While we used to be daily "partners", he's more interested in every couple of days now. It's not that he doesn't want to, but it seems it takes more time for him to "recover". Also, he's noticed a tendency to be "finished" more quickly.

    I know that I'm rambling, but I truly want to be clear. We're not looking to "blame" the cancer, we just want to know if it's possible - or are we dealing with a natural change of life? Would this have all come about without the cancer? Should be consider speaking to his doctor about it? Could his tertosterone levels be decreased? (I hope I don't sound like a spoiled ***, but he's so worried about this.) If the doctor tells us it's a natural change, should we accept his opinion our pressure for more information?

    Any suggestions would be so greatly appreciated! I know this is a sensitive and private topic, so to anyone who offers their experiences - a special thank you!

    Hugs to all survivors and supporters!

  • #2
    I was with you until you said "every couple of days" instead of daily. Now I'm just jealous.
    Scott, [email protected]
    right inguinal orchiectomy 6/5/2003 > nonseminoma, stage I > surveillance > L-RPLND 6/24/2005 for recurrence, suspected teratoma but found seminoma, stage II > chylous ascites until 9/2005 > surveillance and "all clear" since


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    • #3
      I think your SPOILED !! But in a good way!!!!! Sounds like normal aging...If you were complaining of once every month or something I would say testosterone or some other problem.....
      Moffitt Cancer Institute
      CANCER SUCKS
      Diagnosed/Left I/O 9/18/2004--Non-Seminoma/Stage IIIC--3X B.E.P chemo--3X T.I.P. Salvage chemo---Abdominal [email protected] 34cmX 24.5cmX 17.5cm---4/19/2005 --RPLND/Left Kidney,8 1/2lb Abdominal tumor,42 nodes removed---7/16/2005 Remission/Surveillance---Severe Peripheral Neuropathy--

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      • #4
        jkenward:
        I understasnd how sensetavie a subjet this is, and how confusing this change in a relationship can be. It wouldn’t hurt to have your husbands testosterone levels checked but my guess is it's fine. It's an odd thing that as you get older and your affection for each other becomes stronger your physical needs decrease. My mind still wants me to try everyday, why not? I still feel great I'm in ok shape but these last few years give me a good book and a comfortable bed and I'm quite content. At 55 and 6:11 on a saturday morning I'm on the computer, It doesn't seem that long ago I would be busy being a pest. Don't think your not attractive anymore or he's not interested in you, this is one of those confussing but normal changes that takes place in a relationship.
        Son Jason diagnosed 4/30/04, stage III. Right I/O 4/30/04. Graduated College 5/13/04. 4XEP 6/7/04 - 8/13/04. Full open RPLND 10/13/04. All Clear since.

        Treated by Dr. Rakowski of Midland Park, NJ. Visited Sloan Kettering for protocol advice. RPLND done at Sloan Kettering.

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        • #5
          i believe he needs his testosterone levels checked. even a slight decrease in sexual drive is a problem that could lead to more. so why wait till it gets worst. give it a shot and see what takes place! since my HRT its been "good morning" .....just about every morning, which is unusual..haha!! best of luck!
          diagnosed 01/15/2005 bi-lateral seminoma stage IIa,4cm lymph node, right I/O & partial left I/O mar/2005, 18 days of radiation, remaining left I/O- aug/2005, surveillance, Wife did IVF oct/2005, DAD OF BABY GIRL born 08-02-2006!!! testosterone implants May 2008

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          • #6
            ..........................................
            Last edited by HZence; 10-01-11, 12:36 AM.

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            • #7
              no drive

              well, iam only 23 and my sexual drive has decreased dramtically. sure meds are a help..but i just dont have those feelings towards female as before

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              • #8
                have your testosterone levels checked and see about HRT if you need it. it could be the culprit!
                diagnosed 01/15/2005 bi-lateral seminoma stage IIa,4cm lymph node, right I/O & partial left I/O mar/2005, 18 days of radiation, remaining left I/O- aug/2005, surveillance, Wife did IVF oct/2005, DAD OF BABY GIRL born 08-02-2006!!! testosterone implants May 2008

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