Co-Survivor Concern

[keysi]

Ever since my fiancé was diagnosed with TC my life has changed, everything, I look at things very different now (in a good way), it made me realize that life is more than just working, and having a nice car, I joined this forum for support, I am more conscious about cancer and about life itself, but the problem is that I don't think that TC made the same impact on my fiancé, his life is the same as before, of course he knows that it could’ve been a matter of life or death and he thanks GOD everyday that he is alive, but he doesn’t like to talk about it, sometimes I think he hasn’t realize how serious this is, he barely knows what type of cancer he got, he only knows that is not the worst, If he knows something about it is because I tell him everything I read, when I told him I was part of this forum he was like: Ok! Cool! , I've tried to convince him to be part of something, to share his experience to support others, something, because I think we've been so lucky compare to many others, He is a Stage Ia Seminoma, and he never felt discomfort besides the surgery and side effects from radiation, Is he avoiding this? or What?.... I just wanted to express my self, Thank YOU!!

[johnseed]

Avoidance?

Hi Keysi,

This group really is a great place to talk all this through.

You mentioned "avoidance" and it seems to me that there are two possible issues involved. First, has he avoided medical care and followups? Since he got his cancer diagnosed early and got his orchiectomy he certainly took care of the most important business. Is he on a surveillance program? Is he going to be sure to get checked regularly to see if there is any cancer growing in his body?

As far as psychological avoidance, it is good to talk about cancer, but as I have learned on this board some guys just hold everything close. You should ask yourself -- since you are planning marriage -- if you want to commit to a man who hangs on to his emotions. Maybe that would become an issue over time.

At any rate, it is great that the caught his cancer early.

JS

[Kev332]

Thats a good question Keysi. It seems like this topic comes up often. Everyone seems to react differently to thier situation.

Wether its going through treatment and moving right along in their life, or for others like members here, who come to this forum to share their experience with others etc.. I'm not saying that either way is the right way, but people just seem to handle it differently. Now, is your fiance "avoiding" the situation?, thats hard to say.

After my diagnoses, my fiance and I joined a running team to train for and raise money for the cancer institute where I was treated... Everyone on our team was somehow affected by cancer in some way, whether it was a family member, loved one etc,,, and talking to these people on our weekly training runs, was almost like thearapy.. Being able to talk about my experience and to hear their stories was a great thing. It was an awesome experience. So I just think that people deal with their diagnoses differently.

Take care,
Kevin