A bit embarassed to ask this, but........

[Michael112]

*Takes 3 fish oil*
Everything is oooohhhhhh kaaaayyyyyyy

[dadmo]

djm:
I can't even watch the stupid tv cop shows, in the past people slicing and dicing each other used to be entertaining now it just makes me sick. Am I depressed? No, not one bit, but after seeing the true face of human suffering I no longer see it as entertainment. I'm actually looking foward to seeing the new Will Smith movie and I'm gonna bring my own tissues.

[Fed]

I knew I had read this thread before, but hesitated to post a response. Now I know why.

Back when I was in grad school, I had a really bad bout with depression. It took me about 2 years to get out of that funk, and since then, I have been doing great. My GP (who totally kicks butt: she was the one who made sure that I was thoroughly examined as soon as I told her of my symptoms prior to TC diagnosis) said that relapsing into depression can happen. Then came the TC diagnosis, and I am worried it may return unexpectedly.

That said, I don't think depression hit again, but I would be lying if I didn't say I've had my down moments since this fight began. The time where I clearly "lost it" was while reading about Cuss two days ago. I couldn't sleep that night, and I felt numb most of the day. The way I look at it is that it wouldn't be human to keep all those emotions bottled up. It was definitely cathartic to let it out.

[djmac]

Hi all,

I find that I've become much more sensitive to other people's pain. News reports that I could callously watch beforehand affect me deeply now. Stories of other people's tragedies haunt me for days afterwards.

I don't think that it is lower levels of testosterone that is causing this. When I went through the initial stages of treatment, I was touched by the concern of my friends and family, but even more so by strangers... nurses, phlebotomists, doctors, xray technicians, etc. These people were amazing, and I can tell that they cared for others (thus their chosen career, I guess). I mean, I was always a bit sensitive for a guy, but now this is out of control...

... I rather like it

djm

[Sans rt1]

TCLEFT -

I think we have all had some sort of "out of nowhere" experience. A few months after my diagnosis, surgery and RT, a good friend of my wife's, a breast cancer survivor, asked me if I had cried yet. I said no and acted as if it was a silly thing. She insisted that I needed to let it out - that no matter what I thought I had suffered a big loss - not just my right one, but my whole life had been changed - eventhough I was going to be OK.

I did not understand at the time, but over the next few months I did experience some highs and lows, and my wife and I had some interesting arguements that ended in some tears and better understanding by both of us. My wife's friend was absolutely right, we do need to grieve our loss.

Of course, if it is a testosterone issue, it will probably continue. But I think it is probably healthy to have some sort of out of nowhere experience to let it out.

[TCLEFT]

Well I used to think you were a Man of few words. And it ain't the age, it's the mileage. In any case, right on the first count, wrong on the second, and have more respect for your elders Sonny . You folks mean the world to me.

[Scott]

How did you get so wise?

Now, do you mean wise as in "having the power of discerning and judging properly as to what is true or right," or wise as in "presumptuous or impertinent: Don't get wise with me, young man!"

[TCLEFT]

Probably you just suddenly realized how much you missed us!

How did you get so wise?

you can't have a melt down, if you do who's gonna console me when I have mine?

Well we can't go off at the same time. That just wouldn't be pretty.

Found my words to say to you All: Thank You!

[Karen]

TCLEFT,
The bottle's gonna pop sometimes. It's good you have your sister to relate to emotionally. Your wife has lost very much, but maybe you need to let her know you need her to comfort you a bit now. We are here for you to vent about anything and everthing! Good luck.

[dadmo]

TCLEFT:
At some point you just have to let it out. I know in my case I feel crummy for a bit after I post about a problem but in the long run this has been a great outlet for my frustration. Besides, you can't have a melt down, if you do who's gonna console me when I have mine?

[Scott]

Probably you just suddenly realized how much you missed us!

In all seriousness, I bet the emotional release was good for you.

[TCLEFT]

I appreciate your concern. I haven't explored all of the appropriate testing. I'm presently just going on the fact that I'm functioning just as before. I haven't lost strength or muscle mass either. The only situation I have at present is neuropathy. My Sister and I are similar souls and we have a tendency to bottle things up. The more I reflect on this, the more I think it's strictly emotional rather than physiological. Can't quite explain, but I'm pretty sure this wasn't a hormonal mood swing, just some demons coming to visit. Might not be a bad idea to ask for tests at the next Dr's visit. He's pretty compliant to my requests. I don't feel the urgency to do this as yet, same for the Psych, but if things change, I will. And I hope you're right about this being put behind me, but I don't think that ever really happens 100%. Thanks Michael.

[Michael112]

How are you sure it wasnt an E2(estrogen/testosterone ratio) issue? What makes me suspicious is you say "out of nowhere" so there wasnt a trigger?

I have been through afew emotional times and crying was never out of nowhere, it was always routine or triggered. Although everyone is diffrent, If I was you I would get E2 tested, might sound stupid but you have had a major change to your hormone system and an imbalance can cause this, even if you were tested after treatment, you never know when your testicle says enough is enough from elevated LH.

What I suggest is to see a psychologist so you can speak to them.
Find a good one, not one who just nods and says "and how does that make you feel"

If talking to the psychologist doesnt make you feel better, find a new one.

If you are depressed try fish oil.

I have been through afew things that have made me become emotional, boarding school, relationship etc You do get over it.

Whats worrying me is I havent cried yet not once and that makes me want to see a psychologist more cause its not like me. Maybe you are starting to put this all behind you.

[TCLEFT]

Much appreciated. Strange, now that it's been put to me, I just don't know what to say. Doesn't help, I don't type either. Between last night and today, I just have the feeling of being "out of sorts". Hopefully, the Weekend will help to remedy this. We'll see. Thanks again Tim.

[timothye]

I really don't have anyone I can talk to.

I am here you can talk to me .
CHeers T