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  • Are you men this damn stubborn?

    I'm sorry, I'm very mad right now. And I was going to ask something else, but I really mean it. Are you men as stubborn as my husband?

    He's been having a lot of lower back pain lately. And he's refusing to go the doctor to get it checked out. He was having back pain on and off while he was going through chemo, but now it seems like his back constantly hurts him.

    Nothing I've done at all has made him change his mind about going to a doctor. Arguing with him is like arguing with a wall.

  • #2
    Yea, us guys can be stuborn like that sometimes, he probly wont go until the pain gets debilitating.

    As funny as this will sound, honestly if I was you, I would get him drunk and drag him into a doctors office telling him your both there to discuss breast implants or some cosmetic procedure for you! Unless hes the type who hates to get his hopes crushed, maybe do it on april 1st so he wont get too angry
    Aged 23 ;; 09/06 left I/O ;; Markers normal ;; 100% Seminoma Stage 1. ;; 10x8x16mm & 7x7x8mm ;; rete testis invasion. ;; no vascular invasion. ;; surveillance. ;; HRT.

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    • #3
      I'm not quite that stubborn ("Am I, dear?" ), but I know men who are. This may or may not apply, but some men seem to need to believe they're in complete control, and going to a doctor or accepting someone else's advice feels like giving up some of that control.
      Scott, [email protected]
      right inguinal orchiectomy 6/5/2003 > nonseminoma, stage I > surveillance > L-RPLND 6/24/2005 for recurrence, suspected teratoma but found seminoma, stage II > chylous ascites until 9/2005 > surveillance and "all clear" since


      Your donation funds Livestrong services for people facing cancer now. Please sponsor my ride!

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      • #4
        And sometimes they're scared. So make the appointment for him. Dianne
        Spouse: I/O 8/80; embryonal, seminoma, teratoma; RPLND 9/80 - no reoccurrence - HRT 8/80; bladder cancer 11/97; reoccurrence: 4X
        Son: I/O 11/04; embryonal, teratoma; VI; 3XBEP; relapse 5/08; RPLND 6/18/08 - path: mature teratoma

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        • #5
          Elizabeth, what schedule is your husband on for follow-up? When is his next regular appointment?
          Scott, [email protected]
          right inguinal orchiectomy 6/5/2003 > nonseminoma, stage I > surveillance > L-RPLND 6/24/2005 for recurrence, suspected teratoma but found seminoma, stage II > chylous ascites until 9/2005 > surveillance and "all clear" since


          Your donation funds Livestrong services for people facing cancer now. Please sponsor my ride!

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          • #6
            Maybe you can deflect his stubbornness with a little goofy humor and pretend Kitty made the call on his behalf.
            Scott, [email protected]
            right inguinal orchiectomy 6/5/2003 > nonseminoma, stage I > surveillance > L-RPLND 6/24/2005 for recurrence, suspected teratoma but found seminoma, stage II > chylous ascites until 9/2005 > surveillance and "all clear" since


            Your donation funds Livestrong services for people facing cancer now. Please sponsor my ride!

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            • #7
              Some men are very stubborn for sure.
              My son is not really stubborn when I am on his case, but if I was not handling the situation he would not have bothered seeing the doctor when the ER drs. told him he should "follow up to make sure its not cancer"

              He would have heard the words " testicular cancer is very rare, and we don't think its cancer, but just to make sure, follow up" and decided for himself thats just what doctors do, but they dont think its cancer so why bother.

              My son does not ask questions when he sees the doctor.

              I will ask him- what did the doctor say? "I dont know"

              Did you ask him for a referral to the urologist? "No"

              Did you ask him blah blah blah? "no, no no"

              I had to make the call to talk to his primary myself, and take full charge of this or I would lose my son! I made him sign papers at all of the doctors to allow them to give me information. I schedule all of his appointments, ask all the questions, dig around for information etc ..

              I keep my son informed, and often he is surprised about the things I tell him that is going on, or what he will have to do.

              When I ask for copies of reports at his appointments he seemed to feel as if I was inconveniencing the doctors and staff. He gave me a look like he wanted to rescue them from me bothering them. I told him, This is your life ... you should know everything that is going on. You have to speak up and stop worrying about bothering them.

              I think he is paying closer attention at his appointments now and I pray that he learns to speak up, ask questions, and aggressively research when it comes to his health or anything else that is important in life.

              Son Anthony DX 12/11/06
              L/O 12/20/06 Stage IIIA, 95% EC, 5% Yolk Sac
              4XEP 1/29-4/6/ 07
              AFP started increasing3 wks later
              Residual abdominal mass found on CT
              RPLND 6/8/07
              Cancer in pathology-
              80% mature teratoma, 20% Yolk Sac. --
              No adjuvent chemo and
              AFP normalised

              July 22, 2010 ---- 3 years all clear!

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              • #8
                No matter how much ain he's in, he efuses to go. But he's a bit of a hypocrite with that. If I'm even in the slightest amount of pain or he thinks my perscriptions need to be changed, he'll drag me.

                The last time we had to make him go, it took me and his parents. And even that was hard.

                Don't lie now, Scott. I know how stubborn you are. I don't think he has to back for two months now, I'll have to call and see. Honestly, it's too hard for me to go with him.

                But I'm going to go with him next time. I'll ask how things went and he'll try to get out of telling me or flat out lie to me.

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                • #9
                  I have to be very honest. I'm as stubborn as a mule and I tend to do what ever I like when ever I feel like it. At least that's the way it happens in my dreams.
                  Son Jason diagnosed 4/30/04, stage III. Right I/O 4/30/04. Graduated College 5/13/04. 4XEP 6/7/04 - 8/13/04. Full open RPLND 10/13/04. All Clear since.

                  Treated by Dr. Rakowski of Midland Park, NJ. Visited Sloan Kettering for protocol advice. RPLND done at Sloan Kettering.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by dadmo
                    I have to be very honest. I'm as stubborn as a mule and I tend to do what ever I like when ever I feel like it. At least that's the way it happens in my dreams.
                    Dreams are like that, what would we do without dreams

                    Son Anthony DX 12/11/06
                    L/O 12/20/06 Stage IIIA, 95% EC, 5% Yolk Sac
                    4XEP 1/29-4/6/ 07
                    AFP started increasing3 wks later
                    Residual abdominal mass found on CT
                    RPLND 6/8/07
                    Cancer in pathology-
                    80% mature teratoma, 20% Yolk Sac. --
                    No adjuvent chemo and
                    AFP normalised

                    July 22, 2010 ---- 3 years all clear!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      My son is almost 3 years from his diagnosis and now I really do look foward to sleep and real dreams. It's wounderful and soon you will be there to.
                      Son Jason diagnosed 4/30/04, stage III. Right I/O 4/30/04. Graduated College 5/13/04. 4XEP 6/7/04 - 8/13/04. Full open RPLND 10/13/04. All Clear since.

                      Treated by Dr. Rakowski of Midland Park, NJ. Visited Sloan Kettering for protocol advice. RPLND done at Sloan Kettering.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by dadmo
                        My son is almost 3 years from his diagnosis and now I really do look foward to sleep and real dreams. It's wounderful and soon you will be there to.
                        Sweet dreams dadmo, you are blessed for being there for others going through this nightmare.

                        Son Anthony DX 12/11/06
                        L/O 12/20/06 Stage IIIA, 95% EC, 5% Yolk Sac
                        4XEP 1/29-4/6/ 07
                        AFP started increasing3 wks later
                        Residual abdominal mass found on CT
                        RPLND 6/8/07
                        Cancer in pathology-
                        80% mature teratoma, 20% Yolk Sac. --
                        No adjuvent chemo and
                        AFP normalised

                        July 22, 2010 ---- 3 years all clear!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I'm not calling out Scott. He is stubborn, he won't let me leave. :P

                          My husband does tend to get away with it, sadly. He knows hw to butter me up, but I'm trying to stay firm on this.

                          Our son's going to wind up just like him, I can almost bet money on that. They're just alike now. Once he hits his teens, I'm going on a nice long vacation.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Elizabeth_L
                            He is stubborn, he won't let me leave. :P
                            I try to use my stubbornness for good.
                            Scott, [email protected]
                            right inguinal orchiectomy 6/5/2003 > nonseminoma, stage I > surveillance > L-RPLND 6/24/2005 for recurrence, suspected teratoma but found seminoma, stage II > chylous ascites until 9/2005 > surveillance and "all clear" since


                            Your donation funds Livestrong services for people facing cancer now. Please sponsor my ride!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              That's better than using it to try to get out of hospital visits, I suppose.

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