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Are you men this damn stubborn?

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  • #16
    Robert makes an excellent point here on "breaking the silence." Coming from a Mexican family, I can relate to the stigma of assaults on one's manhood. Nonetheless, when the issue is cancer, one's life is at stake, and there's no point screwing around. At this time, one's pride has to be thrown out the window.

    Being well informed goes a long way, and passing the knowledge along helps ensure that others are (at the very least) aware of themselves -that's what we are all doing here. When I was telling my family and friends about my Dx, particularly the guys that are in my age group, I emphasized that they should check themselves out. I must have harped about it to them dozens of times; but, as Scott said earlier, stubbornness can be used for good purposes, too. If even one of guy friends or male cousins started doing TSEs after my diagnosis, then I feel that I've been able to steer my inherent male and latino stubbornness towards a good cause.
    "Life moves pretty fast; if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
    11.22.06 -Dx the day before Thanksgiving
    12.09.06 -Rt I/O; 100% seminoma, multifocal; Stage I-A; Surveillance; Six years out! I consider myself cured.


    • #17
      i am glad I found this site, and am honored to be a part. it is places like this that save lives, and help rebuild new ones.
      I'm glad you found this site too! Your advice and experience are invaluable!
      Retired moderator. Husband, left I/O 16Dec2005, stage I seminoma with elevated b-HCG, no LVI, RTx15 (25Gy). All clear ever since.


      • #18
        Robert - awesome posts.

        I used to be one of those stubborn ones. But on April 13th of last year that changed. It's tough, but I feel compelled to tell people. No, don't stand on the street corner shouting, but as Fed pointed out, we (I doubt I am much different than all of you on this forum) talk about it with our friends, neighbors, relatives, and coworkers - the word gets out there and hopefully they take action and we have helped save someone a lot of grief and pain.

        I shouldn't be (based on my own case), but I am amazed how many I have discussed this with that tell me they never check themselves. Hopefully, they do now.
        Last edited by Sans rt1; 01-18-07, 03:46 PM.
        Right I/O 4/17/06, Seminoma Stage Ib
        RT (15 days) completed 6/1/06
        All clear as of 5/8/09


        • #19
          I don't think that was what I fully meant. He's not "macho". I mean, he really had no problem breaking down and crying last night. I think things are finally getting to him. But he is still giving these excuses to not take medicine, to not go to a doctor.

          From what I've understood, he's not telling anyone. He's not open about speaking about it. Not with me or his parents or anyone.

          And I am probably not making much sense right now, I apologize. I'm going on little sleep and between his breakdown and our son getting sick, I don't think I'm fully here.


          • #20
            Please make sure you take care of yourself, and don't feel guilty about it.
            Son Jason diagnosed 4/30/04, stage III. Right I/O 4/30/04. Graduated College 5/13/04. 4XEP 6/7/04 - 8/13/04. Full open RPLND 10/13/04. All Clear since.

            Treated by Dr. Rakowski of Midland Park, NJ. Visited Sloan Kettering for protocol advice. RPLND done at Sloan Kettering.


            • #21
              Originally posted by Elizabeth_L
              From what I've understood, he's not telling anyone. He's not open about speaking about it. Not with me or his parents or anyone.
              Even if he isn't interested in talking, could you let him know that he's not alone? There are thousands of us who have been in his shoes.
              right inguinal orchiectomy 6/5/2003 > nonseminoma, stage I > surveillance > L-RPLND 6/24/2005 for recurrence, suspected teratoma but found seminoma, stage II > chylous ascites until 9/2005 > surveillance and "all clear" since

              Your donation funds Livestrong services for people facing cancer now. Please sponsor my ride!


              • #22
                I do feel guilty about it. But right now, the two of them are asleep, so I do have a little time to myself.

                I surely will, Scott.


                • #23
                  I am a mean wife and I will admit it. If ERic is complaining about something over and over and i tell him to go to the doctor and he will not... I take it into my own hands. Why you might ask??? Well when Eric started having problems with his Testie is was APRIL 2004... he would not go to the doctor no matter how much bagging and pleading I did. He finally went to the doctor in August of 2004 to be told he has cancer. I NEVER once told him "i told you so" I did not see how that would help. So what I do now is this.... I call up his doctor and schedule him an appointment and tell him what is going on.... they then call up Eric's cell phone later that afternoon to remind him of his schedule appointment. He does not realize until after he is home from the appointment that I made it for him since he was complaining about something. I simply tell him I do not want to have to through what we ahve in the past and we will get things taken care of. It had helped a great deal. he gets mad sometimes, but honestly it is bettr to ask for forgiveness then permission in this area! If I am in pain or not feeling well he makes sure I am at the doctors that day. I tell him 2 can play that game.