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  • I'm pretty shaken up by this...

    So I was just watching, of all things, a special on Comcast Sportsnet of Andy Reid visiting child cancer patients at Childrens Hospital of Pennsylvania, and it really broke me up. As I was looking at Reid, wearing a surgical mask, talking to a kid hooked up to the same IV machine I used to use when I had chemo at Penn, I got all shaken up.

    I know that I am struggling emotionally accepting and moving forward with my bout with cancer. Even though I have a good prognosis, and have had two "all clears" since I finished treatment in May, I have a lot of demons pent up with this.

    I've tried signing up for support groups through Livestrong, and no one ever followed up... What I feel like I need is just someone who has been through TC, been through chemo, faced the same fears of infertility, fear of recurrence, etc., to talk to.

    Talking to my wife, friends, parents about all of this never really carries forward with me for some reason.

    If any of you guys ever get together to play cards, have a beer, watch a game, or anything, I'd really appreciate it if I could tag along. I live in Philadelphia, and would be happy to travel to catch up.
    Diagnosed 3/6/07, Left orchiectomy, 100% Embryonal Carcinoma with lymph nodes detected via CT. 3x BEP started 3/26/07 at UPenn (Vaughn), "all clear" on 5/28/07. Surveillance since.
    Life is what happens when you're busy making plans.

  • #2
    Several forum members will be meeting in Dec. at the home of TCLEFT. You should think about joining us he's only in Port Murray NJ. If you can't make that We will be having a spring get together at my home in Midland Park NJ, we had one in Aug and 30+ people showed up. Lot's of deamons were chased that day.
    Son Jason diagnosed 4/30/04, stage III. Right I/O 4/30/04. Graduated College 5/13/04. 4XEP 6/7/04 - 8/13/04. Full open RPLND 10/13/04. All Clear since.

    Treated by Dr. Rakowski of Midland Park, NJ. Visited Sloan Kettering for protocol advice. RPLND done at Sloan Kettering.

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    • #3
      Joe, I had the same problem with LA foundation. Don't give up! This forum is a great place for support and understanding. You are normal, the situation is abnormal. You will build emotional muscles. I work as a nurse...there is a 22 year old in our hospital right now, he is fighting hard against cancer. I have found myself in tears walking down the hall. Keep in touch!!! Sharon
      Click here to support my LIVESTRONG Challenge with Team LOVEstrong.

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      • #4
        I under stand how you feel I had embroynal carsonoma in the left boy but didn't need chemo. I have anexiety every time I get a pain, I tell my family but they get tired of hearing me complain. Iv'e been doing it for two years now. It is hard for family to deal with what we are going threw they try to help but they can only say and do so much.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by JoePSU
          So I was just watching, of all things, a special on Comcast Sportsnet of Andy Reid visiting child cancer patients at Childrens Hospital of Pennsylvania, and it really broke me up. As I was looking at Reid, wearing a surgical mask, talking to a kid hooked up to the same IV machine I used to use when I had chemo at Penn, I got all shaken up.

          I know that I am struggling emotionally accepting and moving forward with my bout with cancer. Even though I have a good prognosis, and have had two "all clears" since I finished treatment in May, I have a lot of demons pent up with this.

          I've tried signing up for support groups through Livestrong, and no one ever followed up... What I feel like I need is just someone who has been through TC, been through chemo, faced the same fears of infertility, fear of recurrence, etc., to talk to.

          Talking to my wife, friends, parents about all of this never really carries forward with me for some reason.

          If any of you guys ever get together to play cards, have a beer, watch a game, or anything, I'd really appreciate it if I could tag along. I live in Philadelphia, and would be happy to travel to catch up.
          You and your Family are welcome any time. Dec 15 we're having another gathering. Philly is ~ 1 1/2 hr drive. C'mon up and meet the "Family"
          I Love My Pack!

          sigpic

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          • #6
            Originally posted by JoePSU
            I know that I am struggling emotionally accepting and moving forward with my bout with cancer. Even though I have a good prognosis, and have had two "all clears" since I finished treatment in May, I have a lot of demons pent up with this.
            Joe,
            I know exactly what you are talking about here- I go through all kinds emotion before each of my scans and dr. visits.
            It hits me escepially hard when I'm playing with my kids and hoping I'll be around for grandkids...

            Majbritt and I are planning to go to Mark's in December, but I would be happy to meet before then- we can watch an Eagles game or something..I'll pm you.
            Take care,
            Joe
            Stage III. Embryonal Carcinoma, Mature Teratoma, Choriocarcinoma.
            Diagnosed 4/19/06, Right I/O 4/21/06, RPLND 6/21/06, 4xEP, All Clear 1/29/07, RPLND Incisional Hernia Surgery 11/24/08, Hydrocelectomy and Vasectomy 11/23/09.

            Please see a physician for medical advice!

            My 2013 LiveSTRONG Site
            The 2013 Already Balders

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            • #7
              Joe:

              Nothing at all unusual about your emotions. After 15 years, I though I had finally but TC behind me, then WHAM TC2 -I really did not need that. My doc told me that >90% if cancer patients suffer from post-traumatic stress syndrome, but that it often isn't recognized. After TC2, i've had a really difficult time getting my anxiety under control, even 4 years out, it's better, but not gone. Thank god for Ativan!

              If you or anyone for that matter would like to visit DC or Baltimore, we're almost right in the middle, a short drive from both. Unfortunatly, we only had 1 spare bedroom, and 2 big dogs, so we get a lot of shedding. But it's even an easy day trip even from NY. My preferred method of travel is train, and we're about 15 min from the BWI Rail Station. Philly is about 1.5 hours by train. November is a great time to see DC, nice cool weather and less crowds.
              Fish
              TC1
              Right I/O 4/22/1988
              RPLND 6/20/1988
              TC2
              Left I/O 9/17/2003
              Surveillance

              Tho' much is taken, much abides; and though we are not now that strength which in old days moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are; one equal temper of heroic hearts, made weak by time and fate, but strong in will; to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by JoePSU
                Talking to my wife, friends, parents about all of this never really carries forward with me for some reason.
                Where have I heard this before?... Ah yes... I've said this before. My current take on this is that in most cases, you need to have gone through it to understand it. The biggest part of that struggle is that you can't expect the people around you to get it fully, such an expectation would be unfair to them.
                Originally posted by JoePSU
                If any of you guys ever get together to play cards, have a beer, watch a game, or anything, I'd really appreciate it if I could tag along. I live in Philadelphia, and would be happy to travel to catch up.
                Joe, if you are ever in the Boston area, I will be expecting to hear from you so we can go out for a drink. Like everyone said, we have gotten together once before, and it was extremely therapeutic for everyone (we even got to set things on fire!). You should definitely try to make it for the inking party, even if you don't get inked yourself. You are a part of the family, and know that we got your back for whatever you need (and this includes both the good times and the bad ones).
                "Life moves pretty fast; if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
                11.22.06 -Dx the day before Thanksgiving
                12.09.06 -Rt I/O; 100% seminoma, multifocal; Stage I-A; Surveillance; Six years out! I consider myself cured.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by JoePSU
                  Talking to my wife, friends, parents about all of this never really carries forward with me for some reason.
                  The one thing I have come to learn through all this is that family is sometimes a double edged sword with good intentions. Because I've been recently diagnosed and my prognosis is very good thus far, some people tend to think that since the tests are negative and the surgery is done, it's over forever. As if all I had was just a bad cold or something. So, I chose to write a letter of thanks to all my relatives and friends for their prayers and support through this and to EXPLAIN exactly what the prognosis is and what I need to do about it. When I mention the word "surveillance" they think all I have to do is watch for nodules popping up or whatever - they don't understand that surveillance means a very serious commitment on my part to get checked and while everything may look good today, the possibility of that changing at some point in my future is REAL, hence the need for surveillance!

                  Everyone needs to understand that this is a process, it's a lifestyle. And granted, the road for some people is rougher than for others but the goal to get better and erradicate this thing is the same for all. I'm thankful that my wife does understand it like I do because she has taken a personal interest in asking questions and going with me to every single appointment (she takes notes), even for simple blood tests so she knows exactly what is going on - and yes she also wants to make sure I actually show up for my appointments, but that's besides the point

                  Anyway, please know I am praying for you. Unfortunately, I don't live anywhere near Philly, but if you are ever in Miami be sure to let me know.
                  "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see". Heb 11:1

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                  • #10
                    JoePSU,
                    You are definatley not alone, and we really are a "family" here. Hope you can make it to the inking party in December. Lots of us seem to be in the NY/NJ/PA area and invitiations to visit are sincere. Maybe we can find a spot near the Deleware River this fall for a TC family picnic.
                    Hugs,
                    Karen
                    Retired moderator. Husband, left I/O 16Dec2005, stage I seminoma with elevated b-HCG, no LVI, RTx15 (25Gy). All clear ever since.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      You are definatley not alone, and we really are a "family" here.
                      I'm the Brother that puts the Fun in dysfunctional . We ain't kidding Joe. We're all very therapeutic for each other, and besides that, we genuinely care for each other as well. If you're interested in a tattoo design let me know. If you just want to be surrouned by the best people around i.m.h.o. (in my humble opinion), then c'mon up. Bring something to burn. We'll cook some more demons!
                      I Love My Pack!

                      sigpic

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                      • #12
                        Philly is a great city...

                        Joe - I am in NJ, diehard 4 sport fan (especially phils right now). I did the whole chemo and I/O thing like most people here...PM if you want to meet for a beer etc. I fly about 75% of the time for my job...at least I dont worry about flying anymore - living through cancer allows me to sleep on the plane now! Hang in there. Jim - Ringoes, NJ
                        Jim
                        ------------------------
                        Left I/O 4/21/05
                        Stage IIA, Non Seminoma, 100% Embryonal
                        BEP X3 - 07/11/2005 - 9/6/2005
                        Surveillance - Negative CT, CXR & Markers
                        I love my life!

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Bagpipe
                          Joe - I am in NJ, diehard 4 sport fan (especially phils right now). I did the whole chemo and I/O thing like most people here...PM if you want to meet for a beer etc. I fly about 75% of the time for my job...at least I dont worry about flying anymore - living through cancer allows me to sleep on the plane now! Hang in there. Jim - Ringoes, NJ
                          I go by your town on the way to work. Are you guys coming on the 15th of Dec. You're welcome to come!
                          I Love My Pack!

                          sigpic

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                          • #14
                            I'm lost...maybe just phils ph-fever

                            What is going on 12/15 and what is the inking party? Tats??

                            Let me know! Jim
                            Jim
                            ------------------------
                            Left I/O 4/21/05
                            Stage IIA, Non Seminoma, 100% Embryonal
                            BEP X3 - 07/11/2005 - 9/6/2005
                            Surveillance - Negative CT, CXR & Markers
                            I love my life!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Bagpipe
                              What is going on 12/15 and what is the inking party? Tats??

                              Let me know! Jim
                              As I have posted elsewhere: ask, and you shall receive. It would be great if you could make it. The more, the merrier.

                              P.S. Sox-Phils World Series? Wouldn't that be nice?
                              Last edited by Fed; 10-02-07, 12:49 AM.
                              "Life moves pretty fast; if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
                              11.22.06 -Dx the day before Thanksgiving
                              12.09.06 -Rt I/O; 100% seminoma, multifocal; Stage I-A; Surveillance; Six years out! I consider myself cured.

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