How Cancer changed my life..

[Karen]

All,
I moved the posts on the tats and avatars to the "you can see from my skin that cancer didn't win" thread. I hope nothing was deleted in the split and merge ....this was my first attempt at this....

I do want to get this thread back to the topic of "how cancer changed my life", which is a very defining moment for all of us.

[Karen]

Well, I just found another thing that has changed and I am stunned at just how much. I have always been a "countdown" person. When I was a kid it was days until the birthday, Christmas, vacation. Then it was days until school was out for the summer, or I graduated. I always wanted time to quickly get me to get to something I was looking forward to. I'm shooting to retire on March 1, 2014. It's the screensaver on my computer at work, but I decided to add a countdown clock. I set the time for midnight on March 1, 2014 and let it run. When I sat there and looked an the seconds flying past I felt physically sick and almost burst into tears. Those seconds are my LIFE. Why in the world did I ever wish they would go quickly? Every day is a gift, even the crappy ones, and I vow to never wish they'd hurry up and be done with again.

[Jay68442]

My wife has always been a planner. At an early age she had planned her life. She would say I will be married at 23 and have children at 25 and so on. When we first got together and would have discussions about our future I would always say you can't plan life. Life doesn't take your plans into consideration. I must have told her a million times to enjoy life and take it as it comes, you only get one life and it will end one day. Looking forward to special events like Christmas or retirement is something many of us do, and that is fine. Just remember to always enjoy the moment as no one is promised tomorrow.

[TCLEFT]

Time is a funny thing Sis. (Yup, I'm back from my Intestinal Mason's meeting). Time really flies when you're looking for the bathroom after drinking that stuff. OK, back on topic. I think what we all wish for is the time to do the things we love with those we love. Unfortunately, we all work to live. (Hopefully we don't live to work (unless it's a labor of love)). So we all have a tendency to want to move along the "I have to time" to get to the "I want to" time. I think Cancer changes it all to "I need to" time. We need to treasure each moment. You may not enjoy each moment, but it is your moment nonetheless. We need to understand all that really exists is now. Yesterday is a memory, tomorrow just a dream. We need to do our best to give the moments to others that we'd like to receive. In an odd sense we've been enlightened. We don't live in the "it can't happen to me" frame of mind anymore. Keep your clock ticking on your PC. Look forward to Birthdays and Holidays. Get excited for upcoming events. And enjoy every moment of anticipation of how wonderful it's going to be. And enjoy how wonderful it is to anticipate it now. Just like sleep, we all need to dream. Time marches on. Enjoy the parade.
Much Love,
Barry M. Brickenpooper

[MRMRSU]

Well, I just found another thing that has changed and I am stunned at just how much. I have always been a "countdown" person.

Karen, how about this...be a "COUNT UP" kind of person. Let the clock continue to run but reverse its course, because we all need something to look forward to. But rather than seeing the seconds dwindle down and feeling like time passed you by, make the clock go in a positive direction and I'll bet you'll start to see time as tasks completed and memories made, rather than a fleeting moment you can't get back.

Excitement is one of our great human conditions...we should all be so lucky to have something to anticipate. Today, we welcomed my big sister's brand new baby girl Reese and the count-up to her term was the anticipation my family so desperately needed. I look forward to a wonderful future for my niece, but for this moment we will enjoy her for the small bundle of joy that she is.

Like you said, every day is a gift...and if it weren't for the crappy days, we'd never know how much we love the good ones!

[dadmo]

If I can ever find the right words I have to post on this thread. I can assure all of you I'm not the me I grew up with. I just wish the transformation wasn't so costly.

[TCLEFT]

If I can ever find the right words I have to post on this thread. I can assure all of you I'm not the me I grew up with. I just wish the transformation wasn't so costly.

All you wanted, Well you can't have it
But just look around Man and see you've got Magic
So just sit back and relax, enjoy it while you still have it
And don't look back on life and only see Tragedy Cause

You can be better than that
Don't let it get the better of you
What can be better than that?
Life's not about what's better than - John Butler

Whoever you were before, I think I would have been proud to call him friend too given the opportunity. I'm certainly grateful to call you friend, no Brother now. And I certainly wish I didn't have to meet you under these circumstances either. But yesterday is just a memory and it can't be changed. So carry on Brother and carry that Almond Joy with my blessing. You make us all proud.

[Jay68442]

Dadmo,
Through your actions I see a person with a huge heart. I don't know all that has brought you to this point in your life but I can tell your gestures are sincere. Like most of us here a large price was paid of our unique perspective on life. We may not be the people we started out as but I hope through our journey we have changed for the better.

LiveSTRONG
Jason

[Fed]

Dadmo,

I've only known you for less than a year. I can't say that I like the circumstances that have allowed me to know you, your wonderful family, and everyone else here. I don't know how or who you were two, five, ten, or twenty years ago. What I do know is that in these few months, the person you are now is highly respected, a great guide, and a compassionate friend. Our evolution, both of survivors and caregivers, is indeed costly, but just in the way evolution is supposed to work, in the end we come out better and stronger.

I will write a post of my own on this subject, but I'm waiting after this weekend. I'm sure I will feel more inspired after the Challenge.

[muddypelican]

Life Changing

Now that my boyfriend has fought cancer, he announced that he not afraid of spiders any more.

[TCLEFT]

Now that my boyfriend has fought cancer, he announced that he not afraid of spiders any more.

Years before Cancer I was bitten by a Brown Recluse Spider. That resulted in a surgery to remove a very large portion of necrotic tissue from the back of my left leg. I lead a charmed life don't I? I've never been afraid of spiders, but I certainly don't peacefully cohabitate anymore. The Moral: Don't be afraid but squish them anyway.

[Margaret]

TCLeft, I love the new picture. They look so sweet I want to cuddle them both...hope they don't bite

[TCLEFT]

TCLeft, I love the new picture. They look so sweet I want to cuddle them both...hope they don't bite

Like I said, they're becomming therapeautic by reflecting my mood. Lately I've just felt the need to lean on your shoulders. Hope you don't mind.

[Margaret]

Like I said, they're becomming therapeautic by reflecting my mood. Lately I've just felt the need to lean on your shoulders. Hope you don't mind.

Love every second of it. We lean on you all the time

Although I feel many times that I just wish there was more I could do. I have been thinking of Danny today and just read MD Harris's post about her love "Dan" and the helpless feelings start to creep back in.

[Russell's Mom]

Mark, the two pictured in your new avitar were under glass on my kitchen table the whole time Russell was in Chemo. Recently I moved them...now miss them.
"You come to see that suffering is required: and you no more want to avoid it, than you want to avoid putting your next foot on the ground when you are walking. In the spiritual path, joy and suffering follow one another like two feet and your come to a point of not minding which "foot" is on the ground . You realize on the contrary that it is extremely uncomfortable hopping all the time on the joy foot." John B. Bennett

Take care, Sharon

PS I have never really added my thoughts on this post...I don't think that I could type that long.