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First time here...

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  • First time here...

    Hello everyone. I'm kinda new to the world of TC, as I just found out that the guy I have been seeing for a few months just told me he had it 12 years ago and they removed one testicle and part of the other one. He didn't want to tell me because he thought I wouldn't want to have to deal with him if the cancer came back. I understand this can be a hard thing to tell someone. What is the best way I can show him that I do truly care and would support him in whatever way I can with everything that has already happened and if something does happen again? To be honest, I'm only 23, and no one in my family has ever had cancer (which is a blessing), so this was shocking news for me to absorb. I've been reading the stories on these forums, and you are all very inspiring.

    Any advice you can give me would be appreciated. Thank you and my thoughts are with you all.

  • #2
    How old was he at the time of his surgery? Did he have radiation therapy or chemotherapy? His odds of recurrence after 12 years are negligible, though his chances of a secondary cancer may be higher than the general population's, depending on what treatment he had.

    The best way to show you care is to keep on dating him and to talk about his cancer experience as much as he wants to, but not more.
    Last edited by Scott; 11-18-05, 04:57 PM.
    right inguinal orchiectomy 6/5/2003 > nonseminoma, stage I > surveillance > L-RPLND 6/24/2005 for recurrence, suspected teratoma but found seminoma, stage II > chylous ascites until 9/2005 > surveillance and "all clear" since

    Your donation funds Livestrong services for people facing cancer now. Please sponsor my ride!


    • #3
      He was 17 when he had his surgery, but I didn't know to ask if he had treatment or what kind. I do intend to keep dating him, I think he is something special and can't imagine my life without him. I might just bring it up to ask him if he did have chemo or any treatments... but like you said, not talk about it unless he wants to.


      • #4
        I think he told you because he trusts you, he thinks you're special and he wanted to get it out in the open and out of the way so you can proceed with your relationship. Some guys don't want to talk about it at all. It depends on you if you want it to make a difference. There could be a fertility problem that needs to be resolved if the relationship gets serious. For now, don't bug him about it, enjoy yourself and let nature take its course. Dianne
        Spouse: I/O 8/80; embryonal, seminoma, teratoma; RPLND 9/80 - no reoccurrence - HRT 8/80; bladder cancer 11/97; reoccurrence: 4X
        Son: I/O 11/04; embryonal, teratoma; VI; 3XBEP; relapse 5/08; RPLND 6/18/08 - path: mature teratoma