Scared

[Havok]

I would like to intriduce myself to all of you fine people. My name is jeff and i have had TC twice one year apart. The first one was in Fed of 2002 and it was pure seminoma. I did the standard treatment of Radiation and follow up visits. Just about one year to the day after i hade my surgery and radiation i had that all to familiar feeling in my left testical and instantly knew what it was. Stage one non seminoma in ole lefty. I had the surgry to remove my testical and was then faced with treatment options. My options were watch and wait or Chemo because of the radiation Rplnd was not an option as half of my nodes were no scarred in and the surgury would have been very high risk. Ever since then i have been good, Blood tests have all been normal and CT scans, X0rays have been good till about 6 months ago. When i went and saw my DR. over the summer they found that one of my nodes was abmormal(1.2 cm if i remember correctly) and that i had to have another CT to see if it was indead growing. I asked how long and due to there being 6 months between the one that was clear and the one that was abnormal they said that it it was the rate of groth was slow and that i should be retested in 6 months. This didnt sit well with me but i figured that with blood tests and the survival rate being good that it worked for me. Well i had my ct done last thursday and i have my DR. apt today at 10:30 am. I am realy scared about this one. I know that if it has grown that the only option for me is chemo and i am freaking out about this. I couldnt think of anything else all day and night. Man i realy hate this not knowing stuff! I just wanted to post as if anyone could relate to what i am feeling im sure it would be the people on this board.


Thanks for letting me vent a bit

Jeff

[rjs]

Jeff -
Sometimes we all need to vent. Seems like you are having a tough time right now, but the hardest part for all of us is the having the patience to wait for results and our next steps. I have found the worst part is always the unknown, but once we know what we are dealing with then we can take action. Try not to let your mind play "what if" games and focus on the present. You toughed it out before and you will make it through this next obstacle. Stay strong and keep us posted. Most of us here don't know each other and probably never will, but we all support each other through whatever this crazy disease puts us through. Don't let it beat you down. Hang in there!

-rs

[Stacy]

Jeff - my husband went through a situation very similar to yours. He did end up having to have chemo ( 4 X EP) from Sept to November, BUT he has since recovered and just celebrated a clear follow up tumor marker test TODAY. We all hope that you dont have to go through the chemo, but just know that if you do you have an excellent support system here and that, just as everyone else told us, you WILL get through it and one day it will be just a memory. Best of luck to you and please let us know how you make out.

Stacy & Perry

[Jens]

Hi Jeff.
I hope you got the best possible answer. You already did your share of treatment for TC.
If, however, you may need chemotherapy, just know that it's not necessarily as bad as most people would think. I had a fairly easy time with it and now 7 month after I'm pretty much back to my old self.

Hang in there and let's know what happens.

Best wishes
Jens

[Chris'Mom]

Jeff, if chemo is needed, at least you know it will get rid of this thing....Chris had chemo, and although at the time we thought it was the end of the world, he got thru it and now says he is glad he is forgetting about it....it cured him and it was worth it...Mary Ellen

[Scott]

Welcome, Jeff, and feel free to vent all you like. Here's hoping that lymph node has shrunk back to normal, but if not, at least you know how effective chemotherapy is.

[Stacy]

Jeff.

Everything will be fine. I had an almost an identical problem to yours.
At 40 years old my left testicle swelled to the size of a golf ball size. Turned out to be a Seminoma and I was treated surgery and radiation.
One year later I was the "lucky" 3% who developed a second testicular cancer, a non seminoma in my right testicle. I had the lump for over a year before I told the urologist because I was scared. Not the best way to go, but that's what I did. Had another surgery in July 2005 and then went on surviellance. First CT scan while on surveillance was clear but my tumor markers were elevated so my oncologist ordered another CT scan. Turns out the first "clear" CT was incorrectly read and I really had a small abdominal lymph node tumor. The difference between the two scans showed it had grown 1 centimeter in one month. I then underwent 4 rounds of EP chemo. It was hard, but you get throught it. MY POINT TO YOU - DONT WAIT for another CT - get it asap. If it turns out you have to get chemo, you will get by and move on!!! But please dont wait to do another scan. Best of luck to you and keep us all posted.

Perry

[Havok]

WOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well to follow up the CT scan came back clear! The node is fine and the DR. was thrillied(as was I) I now start year 3 of surviellance which looks like its going to be a breeze compared to what i have been doing.


Thank you all for the kind words and allowing me to vent here. I knew that if anyone understood it would be the people here. I think the wost part of it for me was that every time my wife and would get ready to have a child something would happen, the first time, she had a stroke(freak accident) just as she was better and we were going to try again i had my First bout with TC. After a year we were about to start again when the TC came at me again. In jan of this year we decided to start looking into adoption and were just getting ready to contact the lawer when this scare came. I think that was what realy put me in worry mode, after all this time i just dont think i could deal with her being dissapointed about children again.

I will say that has been the hardest thing about TC for me to deal with. Those of us with it are not the only ones it affects, Our wifes and familys have to deal with it also. I think it has been tougher on her then it has been for me but she would never let me know that. Thank god for all those wonderfull wives and friends that stick with us through this!

Jeff

[Jens]

CONGRATULATIONS Jeff!
This is the top news of today!
I hope you can get on with your adoption now.

Best wishes
Jens

And do come back to vent some more if needed.

[dadmo]

Jeff:
What great news. Do come back and visit, especially when you can tell us that you have your child.

[Mom]

Wonderful news, Jeff. One of my friends adopted after many years of disapointment. Twelve years later she said "this is the daughter I was supposed to have." Relax now and be happy. Dianne

[Scott]

Excellent!

[Havok]

Thanks guys! Yea the wife and i were every happy with the news, Going to call the lawer next week and get all of this rolling, We are both very excited about this!

[ramfan13]

congrats

Glad that all is well for now. You had your share of ordeals for sure. Great news on the adoption. My wife and I had fertility problems way before my TC probably related to this. We adopted 2 wonderful children from Russia and they are the best. I strongly recommend adoption, it is the greatest. Good luck through it all.