Surveillance protocols...

[dadmo]

Adrian:
I can’t even begin to tell all of you how upsetting this thread is. Do so many of us really hold nothing more dearly then our day to day existences; do so many have nothing for which they would sacrifice all? I bet everyone, including you Adrian, has something for which you would give your life, parents, brothers, sisters, god, and country. Well I’ll tell you what, giving your life is easy; showing others how to sacrifice is easy, showing others how to live now that’s hard. I don’t expect to find many Andrews in this world but his battle wasn’t about fighting cancer and showing others how brave, his battle was about showing others how to live, death is easy, death is cheap, but to live that is glorious. At some point you will have to face your mortality, I like you was faced with my mortality at a fairly young age. I can tell you this I looked death in the face, soiled my pants, and moved forward. Adrian, you to have looked death in the face and have been able to step away, now just release that fear, let it go, and begin to move forward.

[AdrianB1971]

your right...

dadmo, I think we are focused too much on the surveillance techical routines and we forget another esential side of pre and post TC experience : our soul, our feelings and our heart. The most painful strike is not in testice, abdomen or lungs...no ! The soul and mind are the main victims ! At least in my case...
And the bigest tragedy is our age...we are too young to face cancer...it's not fair. At 50+ years age it's another problem...in fact it's there are no problem if someone get cancer at 50+......but at 13, 17, 34....it's a real tragedy

Anyway, thax for your beautiful words....

[dadmo]

Adrian:
Fear can become all consuming, you must find a way to release it. The event that brought you to the brink is still close at hand and I’m not surprised it haunts you. The physical effects from sickness are almost always secondary to the emotional devestation it can cause. Is what happened to you fair, no certainly not? Just don’t forget you are a proven warrior, a conqueror, release the fear and let the warrior out.

[Mom]

Hey. Adrian, I'm 60 and I still don't want cancer. No one wants it. My husband had TC at 35 and bladder cancer at 52. Having TC at 35 helped us get through the bladder cancer because we knew he could beat it. When my son was diagnosed and we were very upset, my husband asked, "would you rather get a call." He was referring to the death of my brother. He was 47. My parents aways worried about him smoking, well, he was killed in the parking lot of a resturant by a driver who lost control of his car. He was killed instantly, no pain and suffering for him, only pain and suffering for us for the last 16 years. With my son we have hope, with my brother, no hope. Just like that singer and her family. I guess we have taken you to task enough in this thread, but it is only because you are part of our family. Mom/Dianne

[AdrianB1971]

it's true

Mom, you are right. Being diagnosed with cancer it's a frightening perspective at any age.

[Don]

Hero??? I'll settle for Lucky or just Survivor!!!

[Karen]

Adrian,
Cancer sucks at any age and life isn't fair. When I was 9 I lost my 5 year old sister and 8 year old cousin to leukemia within 6 months and I still cry myself to sleep when I think of it. I held the hand of my grandmother and Dad, my hero, when they drew their last breaths. She died from brain cancer and my Dad died from lung cancer. Cancer scares me to the point of curling up in a fetal position and rocking!!!!! You're not alone in fear, but you can't allow it to ruin your days.

PS. Alcohol is a depressant...it dulls thoughts but doesn't get to the heart of the problem. That said, I will lift a few glasses to you when you post good results!!

Karen

[Don]

I also have a fresh bottle of Jager (courtesy of Mr. and Mrs. Moses ) I'm itching to open up!!! I,m awaiting the good news with a chilled bottled and a double shot glass !!! I was Pre-TC a pretty good Guitar player(another thing that Cancer took from me)-- I have a hard time playing now because I can't judge how hard/soft I,m pressing on the fret-board...Last time I played I opened up a fairly deep wound on my left ring finger due to pressing to hard... Would love to hear some of your music when you get back into the studio!!!!

Karen -- Your past sounds much like mine--I have lost 3 relatives to cancer and live woth 2 other that have active(but controlled cancers)( 1 brain/1 lung) !!!! Sometimes you sit back and feel like Cancer has consumed your life in one way or another for as far back as you can remember !!!!!

[AdrianB1971]

...some stupid tales

It seems that the cancer are more more stronger than humanity think. The cancer is only another form of life, a very primitive, who's top first priority is to multiply, at eny cost, as a measure of survival. But it's a stupid form of life because he's destroying his host and himself. How nice would be if the cancer would grow and grouw as much as not to destroy the host. There are to may lifes lost from cancer.....when I'm thinking how much money are spend with stupid wars and weapons...If this lot of money would be used for cancer research, AIDS research and so on... I'm thinking especialy to USA who declared war to cancer 30 years ago but unfortunately the battle is lost.To me, one thing is very clear : standard treatments [chemo, radio etc] have failed in battle with cancer. We need a different direction of research and another approach. In my vision, I see de cancer cure only when we will be able to genetic programing forms of life.


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[ A perfect analogy is like a complex signal, with a lot of frequencies and waveforms inside. Let say only one signal component is bad and it has to be removed. Regardless how many filters we are using the result will be tha same : maybe the bad component is almost removed but the whole signal is irremediable destroyed. Only when the math french researcher Fourier had discovered The Fourier Transformation, this subttle component elimination had become realizable. and the Fourier Transform is the theory of complex signal composition, a composition of sum of basic, elementary sin and cos signals. ]. Therefore I strongly think that in cancer reserch is needed another research approaching. Who knows, maybe the solution is much simple than we think
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Back to music : Thanks God, I have no neuropathy side effects and my fingers are still running like before on keyboard And, like before, there are o lot of songs ideas in my mind. Only the cancer relapse threat is paralizing me and depressing me. Everywhere I see "clear signs of relapse" : low back pain, some AFP elevation, unespected coughing and so on. Anytime I'm scared by a "clear sign". I think I developed a CANCER PHOBIA.

Please dont laugh !

[Eric]

Adrian

I am feeling very anxious this week too because i will have my scan result only on march 21 so even if my chance of cure are more than 90% i am going crazy in my house trying to guess the results. And i know that my cancer has responded to chemo because i had chest x-ray after my first cycle that showed that my 2 lymph node has reduced dramaticly.

Now i agree with you that radiation and chemo are probably not the best way to treat cancer but it works for a lot of people. In my country(canada) there are some people who are doing research with food(vegetables and fruit) that can kill cancer cell. For example, curcuma, brocoli, red wine, chocolate are cancer killer when placed directly on cancer cells. The problem is that they need a high dose of each for a human. So they needed more money to continue their research but not everybody believe in this, that's why it will take a lot of years to have results. But they begin to announce in some documents that if you eat curcuma regullarly you can avoid certain type of cancer. Sorry i have to improve my english.

Eric

[Karen]

I personally subscribe to the red wine and chocolate diet for cancer prevention (I hope). Of course after too much of that I'll need obesity prevention.

My background is that I am a research biochemist, although not in the oncology field. Cancer is an incredibly complex disease. Great strides have been made...the perfect example is with TC, which 20 years ago was practically a death sentence. My sister and cousin were diagnosed with leukemia in 1967-68, The chance of survival at that time was less than 10%...now it's more than 90%. I fully agree that more money needs to be spent on cancer research but throwing money at a problem doesn't solve it. I hope and pray that with the advances in genetic research, and more pharma companies focusing on this area, that when my daughter grows up the survival for all cancers will be greatly improved...as well as early detection methods including blood markers.

Eric,
Good luck on your follow up March 21...and your English needs no apologies....it is fine!

[Eric]

Thank you

Thank you karen for your support. I just finished my 4 bep chemo 3 weeks ago and really don't want to have more than that. It has been a tough winter for me, my wife and daughters. Now with spring comming i need to get back to work and enjoy a normal life again. It's very hard to play a waiting game like this because i think about it every minute in the day. I am positive because i know that my chances are high but sometime i think about the worst and i try to make it go away. Everthing will be better after march 21.

[Chris'Mom]

Adrian, you can't predict the future....a 19 year old Cornell University student across the street from us died last night from a party he went to on his break home...drank too much and in his sleep choked....his mom is a teacher and they had to come in and tell her during her classes...everyone is shocked...our community was shocked about Chris getting TC, and this young man is the one who died....and Chris is doing fantastic! Life is funny, and yes Lance A. was interviewed recently about Dana Reeve dying from Lung Cancer and said we must do more in the area of research.....its been too many years...take care..Mary Ellen

[jdunn]

Mary Ellen,
Sorry to hear about your neighbors untimely death. It's so tragic
It makes you think how fast and precious life is.
I have always remembered this quote "live each day as if it were your last day on earth"

[AdrianB1971]

sudden death vs slowly death

I have to work at my english too....
I agree that the future cannot be predictable but we cannot compare [for the dying one point of view] the sudden death [car accident and so on..] with a slow cancer death. The cancer destroys not only your biologic machinery...but your soul too. Slowly. Here is the real tragedy for DYING ONE. For friends and loved ones is the same thing : the death.

The real victory against the cancer will be when no part of our body is needed to be removed as primary treatment. Some smart programmed cytotoxic cells will be injected and that will be all. [what a nice days ]
We will go to med and he will say : I have cancer..please go to X lab for specific agent preparation. Simple. I'm sure that will be done in 10-20 years.
And I think also that all of us will live until then !!!!

Hey you guys : maybe after few years of surveillance we will manage to meet somewhere in Europe or America. You all are a wonderful people who know the mercy of God and the pain of possible death. I think this site is a real great thing for all of us. At least we are here, all the damned young guys