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  • #16
    My Story


    I've been reading this thread for some time and I know that things can look pretty dark. I'm not asking for sympathy nor am I trying to preach, but here's my story.

    Back in July 2004, my 14-year-old son died in a freak accident. He was my son and also my best friend. I saw him on Sunday and buried him the following Saturday. I cried and cried for months after he died, and I felt so lost. I'm better but still, I'll never be the same as I was.

    In January 2005 my mom died suddenly. She had spent the holidays at our house and seemed fine, then in the middle of the night I received a call that she was gone. Another death, and things appeared pretty bleak. After the services, we buried her, about 10 days after I had last seen her at my house. I still remember going through her things, including lots of stuff from my childhood, 40 years before. It was pretty difficult.

    In June 2005 I was diagnosed with Stage III embryonal cell carcinoma. I had surgery and was told that I would need 4xBEP. At that time I told myself that both my son and my mom would want me to live, and would want me to fight cancer as hard as I could. So...that's what I did. Anyone who has had 4xBEP can tell you how rough the chemo is. I told myself after the third and fourth rounds that I was trying to live, just for the memory of my departed loved ones and for my wife, who has stood by me through all of this. The chemo appears to have worked, and I feel pretty good now.

    My main message is that every day above ground is a good one. I felt so depressed after my son and then my mom died, I didn't want to go on, I didn't want to live. When I was diagnosed, their memories gave me a reason to live, to fight on. Just think about it...your loved ones want you to live, to fight as hard as you can.
    Left I/O 6/24/05
    100% Embryonal Cell Carcinoma, Stage III
    4xBEP August - October 2005
    Surveillance since Nov. 2005


    • #17
      Mrb1980, it was a nice story(i am so sorry for your son). I think you are really strong.(more than me).
      My reason to fight cancer was to see my 2 daughters and continue to see their smiles everyday. I don't know what i would do if i lose one of them. Probably i would let cancer win to allow me to be with her in heaven. But probably also after an event like this you find some other good reasons to live.

      Stage 1 seminoma in august 2001
      with invaded spermatic chord and treated with RT
      Relapse november 2005, 4 BEP and now back to surveillance


      • #18
        That was one gruling year both mentally and physically MRB... I am really sorry for your loses in that year... we all know how hard it is just to get by from one day to the next battling TC.. I have a hard time even imaging how you felt.. The fact that you survived when put in a situation where many others probably would have given up shows a strength 100 times superior to most people that you meet in life .... I am glad you are hear today to share your story and help us here!!!!! DON
        Moffitt Cancer Institute
        Diagnosed/Left I/O 9/18/2004--Non-Seminoma/Stage IIIC--3X B.E.P chemo--3X T.I.P. Salvage chemo---Abdominal Tumor@ 34cmX 24.5cmX 17.5cm---4/19/2005 --RPLND/Left Kidney,8 1/2lb Abdominal tumor,42 nodes removed---7/16/2005 Remission/Surveillance---Severe Peripheral Neuropathy--


        • #19
          Wow, what an incredibly difficult year MRB. Thank you for sharing your story. I live in Arizona too in the West Valley and my husband was dianoised in March of this year and just finished treatment (Carboplatin) two and a half weeks ago. Do you know if any TC support groups or maybe ones for spouses? He is doing really well, but I am still having a tough time. I do not know yet, how to live from one CT Scan to the next, and for so many years. I am constantly worried and wondering theat awful..."what if" and I would love to have local support as well as this WONDERFUL website! So if you know any in Arizona.


          • #20
            Originally posted by TimsWife
            ...I would love to have local support as well as this WONDERFUL website! So if you know any in Arizona.
            I'd suggest contacting CancerCare for their help in finding a local support group, too. "CancerCare social workers can help you find face-to-face support groups in your community, no matter where in the country you live."
            right inguinal orchiectomy 6/5/2003 > nonseminoma, stage I > surveillance > L-RPLND 6/24/2005 for recurrence, suspected teratoma but found seminoma, stage II > chylous ascites until 9/2005 > surveillance and "all clear" since

            Your donation funds Livestrong services for people facing cancer now. Please sponsor my ride!


            • #21
              In the Resource Library section of this forum there is a link for “People Living With Cancer” They have a support section here’s the link support
              Son Jason diagnosed 4/30/04, stage III. Right I/O 4/30/04. Graduated College 5/13/04. 4XEP 6/7/04 - 8/13/04. Full open RPLND 10/13/04. All Clear since.

              Treated by Dr. Rakowski of Midland Park, NJ. Visited Sloan Kettering for protocol advice. RPLND done at Sloan Kettering.


              • #22
                That's quite a story, MRB. The thought of losing my son was incredibly terrifying even though I knew from experience that he could beat TC like his father. When he started dating his wife, cross country, Philadelphia to Dallas, I was afraid that they would get married and move to Dallas. After his battle with TC, I don't care where he lives, as long as he is "above ground" as you say. I am no longer selfish. I am so sorry for your losses, it's still pretty raw for you and it will be for quite a while. I am sure your wife has gone through hell too, losing a son and possibly a husband must have put her in a very fragile state. Your strength is her strength. Dianne
                Spouse: I/O 8/80; embryonal, seminoma, teratoma; RPLND 9/80 - no reoccurrence - HRT 8/80; bladder cancer 11/97; reoccurrence: 4X
                Son: I/O 11/04; embryonal, teratoma; VI; 3XBEP; relapse 5/08; RPLND 6/18/08 - path: mature teratoma


                • #23
                  MRB, your story makes me want to not complain about the little things....and feel sorry for myself and that my son had TC cancer...what a year you went thru...your son and mom would be proud....stay strong...Mary Ellen


                  • #24
                    Hi MRB,
                    The loss of a child has to be one of the most painful experiences any person could go through. I can't even imagine having to deal with such a loss. I am so sorry. You are a survivor though and you made it through some terrible, terrible times. Thanks for sharing your story. I'm glad you are here with us.
                    Mother of TC survivor.
                    Son, Josh 20, diagnosed Jan. 24, 2005. Left Orchiechtomy Jan.31, 2005. 4XBPE March 7th to May 28th 2005.


                    • #25
                      Thank you Scott & Dadmo!

                      Thank you both. I am going to follow through with both of thse and hopefully find some other spouses or family members that are experiencing this. My husband is absolutely fine- at first I thought it was denial, but nine weeks later, he is a real trooper! Amazing, at least know I have found my true hero! Thanks again!


                      • #26
                        End of Story

                        Thanks to all who replied. Yes, I had a lousy year and a half, but I’m still here.

                        Mom—Thanks for asking about my wife. In December 2005, the day after my oncologist told me he thought my cancer was cured, my wife was run off the freeway by a drunk driver. Her car was overturned and totaled and she ended up spending five days in the hospital with a severe concussion, bruises, and lacerations. No, I am not making this up.

                        Tim’s Wife—Banner Desert Medical Center, where I had surgery, has a cancer support group but I have not attended. You may want to connect with the Banner closest to you to find a support group in the West Valley. What the heck, if you want to talk to my wife and me just send me a private message and we can meet for coffee. We’ve been there and done that, so we’re always willing to help out other TC patients.

                        Also, remember that this thread is intended to support tccancercop. I'm just proof that we can still find sunshine on the worst days. We’re finished with my story.
                        Left I/O 6/24/05
                        100% Embryonal Cell Carcinoma, Stage III
                        4xBEP August - October 2005
                        Surveillance since Nov. 2005