scared about recurrance

[tosh]

hi there, my name is tosh.
last april i had a stage 1 seminoma in left testicle, i had an orchidectomy and then did the insurance carboplatin. the pathology showed the cell structure of the tumor was intact and all my markers were negative from the word go.

but..... now i keep getting freaked out about recurrance, i thought i found a lump today, but i think it feels more like a ridge/indentation to the right/back of the testes, i think my mind is playing with me, but i'm having a hard time with it. to make things a little trickier, 5 weeks ago i was in accident and emergency with... a KIDNEY STONE!! i was like....C'MON!! anyway, there is still no sign of that and the pain (so i'm told) is often reffered to the testes. along with pelvis and top of the leg aches it's doing my head in, and i dont really have anyone to talk to about it. i feel bad putting this in here what with all the stuff alot of you are going through, but it's driving me mad!!
thanks, and i hope you dont think i'm an idiot!

[IowaBrian]

Welcome
I think a lot of people wonder if the other one will get cancer.... that is normal you get uptight angry, bad mood been there still there all I can say is maybe go talk to your family doctor they can help (with meds) or ref you to someone to talk to that deals with cancer patients. Many people here to lend a helping hand if you are having problems want to talk just post and there are many that will help out.
Brian

[petep]

This advice may help, or make things worse...

but worrying about things will never be of any benefit....it will not prevent, or create a recurrence.

I just had my 3rd month checkup post chemo...and I rarely think about a recurrence. My attitude is if it comes back, I'll deal with it...what else can I do...

After my orch. my wife was asking the doc what does it look like, and what do you think and do you think he will need chemo...and he looked at me and said "Pete, I do not know anything yet...but whatever it is, it is, and whatever it is, you will just have to deal with it"

I went from being very mad he'd say that to very empowered...in control...he was right...I was wishing it would just be better, be like it was a month ago...no worries, no problems...but that was not a realistic option...so I had to deal with it...

I don't mean deal with it negatively...but deal with it as in take action...

You will be fine - and if you get a recurrence, detect it early and take action. That is all you can do...

Sometimes visiting a pediatric cancer ward will do wonders for your spirit...you see these kids and even volunteering to play with them for a bit will make you feel better...helping others when you start thinking to much about yourself can do wonders.

[tosh]

i know

yeah you're right, i know, and that is very much my mindset, when there is something wrong, you just get on with it.and thats what i did last year. it's the waiting game that's the killer! i have to wait till monday before i can even ring my specialist, then i have to try and get into the clinic before my appointment (3weeks time) and thats whats hardest. If i could walk in now and they were like, yup it's there! i would just get on a do what needs to be done. i was a year out in april and i know i should feel more confident, but it's hard.

[dadmo]

tosh:
If it makes you feel any better everyone here has feelings like yours. I guess the fear never really goes completly away. I go long streaches without worrying about my son getting it again and then when I get to relaxed it's checkup time. All we can do is listen to pete and deal with the issues as they occure.

[TimsWife]

Tosh,
Hang in there- my husband did the 2x Carboplatin too, and had his first follow-up. I was a wreck, but he was very unworried. His attitutude was - we made a good choice with our treatment decision, I belive in what we chose and now let's have faith. Hang in there- you are not alone!

Kelly (Timswife)