Got my slides

[djmac]

I just picked up my slides from the pathologist. I thought a 1.5 cm tumor was small until I actually saw it on the glass slide... It is huge and ugly and lobulated . I'm at work now, working and waiting for people to go home so that I can get on the histology scope and torture my soul some more. I'm deeply deeply horrified and upset, and I have a relatively good case and prognosis.

I also saw my US for the first time... and I picked up my Lung and Ab CTs. I'm taking everything to Dr. Sheinfeld at MSKCC on Thursday, for his review and second opinion. The US was ugly and nasty as well, with all the microlithiasis and the obvious hypoechoic mass. I guess it all reminded me of what I've been through the last couple of months, and this kinda brought me down.

On the upside of everything, I just asked my girlfriend to marry me, and she said yes, so I'm engaged . Still, I wake up with TC on my mind, and I go to bed with it. Does this ever change ?

Thanks for reading,

djm

[Karen]

I thought a 1.5 cm tumor was small until I actually saw it on the glass slide... It is huge and ugly and lobulated . I'm at work now, working and waiting for people to go home so that I can get on the histology scope and torture my soul some more. I'm deeply deeply horrified and upset, and I have a relatively good case and prognosis.

I also saw my US for the first time... and I picked up my Lung and Ab CTs. I'm taking everything to Dr. Sheinfeld at MSKCC on Thursday, for his review and second opinion. The US was ugly and nasty as well, with all the microlithiasis and the obvious hypoechoic mass. I guess it all reminded me of what I've been through the last couple of months, and this kinda brought me down.

On the upside of everything, I just asked my girlfriend to marry me, and she said yes, so I'm engaged . Still, I wake up with TC on my mind, and I go to bed with it. Does this ever change ?
djm

djm,
1.5 cm is not ugly...take a look at Don's "see your tumor" post...now THAT's
ugly . Why are you horrified, upset and down? You had a relativey small tumor and an excellent prognosis. You are engaged (congrats!!!) and have a lot going for you . Don't let cancer define you. The dwelling on TC will lessen with time...just live greiving does, although at the time you can't believe you will stop mourning.
Sloan should put your mind at ease. Good luck and congrats again on your engagement!

[djmac]

Thank you Karen,

I just got on the scope... saw the cells in all of their ugliness. I even observed a few mitoses... they were caught in the act of dividing, the little bastards, before the surgeons blade cut off their life blood and they were thrown into Bouin's Fixative to be frozen in their evil act for all eternity.

We'll see what Sloan says, and I'm looking forward to thinking about this less and less.

Thanks for your support!

Regards,

djm

[Scott]

On the upside of everything, I just asked my girlfriend to marry me, and she said yes, so I'm engaged

That's great! Congratulations!