Caregiver

[Scott]

Welcome, concernedmom.

She's welcome to join us here. There are a number of girlfriends, wives, mothers, and sisters who will be willing to help.

There's also a TC-SUPPORTERS mailing list sponsored by the Testicular Cancer Resource Center: http://tcrc.acor.org/tc-net.html

LIVESTRONG SurvivorCare can suggest other support resources available in person and by phone.

[Margaret]

My 27 yr old daughter is in a serious relationship with 35 yr old boyfriend who has been diagnosed with a recurrance of TC. He's had one orchidectomy about 5 yrs ago. His markers (???) have gone up and he has a tumor which will be removed end of March. I have no idea what kind, or stage, but it hasn't spread to lymph nodes.
But she called tonight in tears cause the dishes weren't done - and then we got to the heart of the matter.
She needs/wants to talk to someone about this. Steph and Sam aren't married, and now they have to make decisions about sperm storage, babies - major things that I never dealt with at her age. Is there a support group out there of women who are in this kind of situation? I'm her Mom and will support her totally, etc, but I have no idea of what she's facing. I never thought I'd be talking to my daughter about infertilty, sperm storage ,etc.
Can anyone help?
Thanks

Hello concerned mom, sweet of you to try and reach out for your daughter. I will be happy to offer any support I can and I will send you a private message with my phone number if she needs someone to talk to. I am not sure of any support groups but if they are out there, the kind people here should be about the point you in the right direction.

Margaret (check your private messages )

[concernedmom]

Hi, I'm new and need some guidance

My 27 yr old daughter is in a serious relationship with 35 yr old boyfriend who has been diagnosed with a recurrance of TC. He's had one orchidectomy about 5 yrs ago. His markers (???) have gone up and he has a tumor which will be removed end of March. I have no idea what kind, or stage, but it hasn't spread to lymph nodes.
But she called tonight in tears cause the dishes weren't done - and then we got to the heart of the matter.
She needs/wants to talk to someone about this. Steph and Sam aren't married, and now they have to make decisions about sperm storage, babies - major things that I never dealt with at her age. Is there a support group out there of women who are in this kind of situation? I'm her Mom and will support her totally, etc, but I have no idea of what she's facing. I never thought I'd be talking to my daughter about infertilty, sperm storage ,etc.
Can anyone help?
Thanks

[Scott]

As the Lance Armstrong Foundation's manifesto says, "Cancer may leave your body, but it never leaves your life." I'm just grateful that so many (though not all) of its effects on me have been positive.

[kmom49]

AMEN!!!!!!! This is been an extra special series of posts today!!

Blessings To All!

[petep]

my sense is that you go from doing something that has real true meaning...taking care of someone you love, that is completely dependent & vulnerable and potentially losing someone that means so much....to going back to what is generally mundane, and of little consequence (a normal everyday life).

I think mark twain said life is full of many minor annoyances and few things of real consequence.

You dealt with something of real consequence....now it is not there or at least not to the degree it was....the sense of purpose gone.

My wife and I had some of the nicest times of our lives when I was going through chemo, strange as that may sound.

The best part of your post is that you recognize the feeling, the difference between then and now....value that aspect....continue to do things that have real meaning for others, and look at the things that used to be mundane, like a short walk after dinner, as something to cherish.

It was a great post...i'm certain all caregivers feel it, you just had the courage to say it out loud.

pete

[Chris'Mom]

One more thing....Jane, thanks for the kind words...you have meant the world to me also...Mary Ellen

[Chris'Mom]

I don't mean to keep this post going, but it has made my day! Knowing I am not alone, I still after two years have you all to talk to and share concerns etc..means so much to me.......Jane, Josh feels like one of my own, and to all ....we will get thru it together...Mary Ellen.p.s...and those going thru it now....we are here with anything you need...

[kmom49]

Well, I even had to change departments where I work due to people's lack of understanding my family's situation and what I was going through. One person had the nerve to say to me "Oh come on put a smile on your face and get over it"!! Yup right to my face. This was just a month or so after my son had RPLND!! Thank God for everyone here and that this topic has surfaced. If ya haven't "been there" you just don't get it. I spent so much time and still do feeling like "did this really happen", so having everyone here who understands just keeps me going!! Thanks again to all.

Kathy

[dadmo]

Our family delt with it by making believe he wasn't going through chemo and sinse they ignored his ever bing sick they don't understand why we bother doing fund raisers. When he was getting chemo they would say "he's getting his special vitamins". Sorry, I have to stop, I'm getting myself all fired up.

[Margaret]

I think the statement that bothers me the most from our family has been "well thank God this is over with and we can put this behind us and move on". So I feel bad even bringing it up even though I still feel that I need the support.

I am glad to have all of you.

Margaret

[jdunn]

Thanks too Brian for the kind words.
MaryEllen, I know what you mean about "can't believe Chris had cancer" To this day, I still to this can't believe that my young, healthy son had cancer. It blows my mind. I think when it was all happening I was so focused on making sure that Josh was ok and that the rest of the family was coping. I didn't have alot of time to dwell on the reality of it all. I was so glad that I had you to exchange feelings with. No one else, not even my family (sisters) could understand what I, as a mother was going through. So I thank you for that.

[kmom49]

Hi gals and guys

I think I'm on this site more as well. Maybe not posting but always checking in on everyone. I only wish I had known about this site 3 years ago!!!!!! It would have been so much help for me, but even now it's such a great "comfort zone". I felt I was the only one not able to let go of the fear as well as sharing the joy of my son's health now! So many of you have eased my mind in that respect and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart!! Blessings to all!!

Kathy

[Chris'Mom]

Also, thanks for the kind words Brian....M

[Chris'Mom]

Jane, our sons went thru it at the same time, so I know you know how it is....and you have been a great friend thru it all to me...and Karen, Chris is the same as your husband, he really left it to me to get the info, read on the internet til 3:00 in the morning...but it does take a toll....in the back of my mind...I will be having a great day, and then that little voice always is there...Chris had cancer...sometimes I still can't believe it....I am and always will be so glad for this site and all it has done for me...Mary Ellen