Anthonys Last Day of Chemo

[mstlyn]

And I can sure see the difference in him this week. The chemo has caught up with him.

He fell asleep most every day during chemo this week, and in the car on the way back home; and then when we got home it wouldn't take more than about 20 minutes and I would go check to see if he is ok and find him half on his bed and half off, sleeping like a rock.

I often see him with his head down in his hands rubbing his head, face, and neck; almost as if he is trying to see if he is all there. He is unable to describe how he feels, and I can't find words for what I see in him; just that he doesn't feel normal. Having said that; he has still handled all of his treatments extremely well, and has taken excellent care of himself.

He had one day this week that he felt really sick, but it didn't take too long to get a handle on that; and the doctor put him on ativan too.

He has expressed to me that he doesnt think this is the end of his cancer. Hopefully he is wrong. He does have a lot of anxiety even before cancer, so I hope that it's just his usual anxious self thinking negatively.

For now though, HE IS DONE!! AND I PRAY HE NEVER HAS TO GO THROUGH THIS, OR ANYTHING TO DO WITH CANCER AGAIN!!!

[Russell's Mom]

It is such an odd time

End of chemo is such an odd time. Like a rubber band stretched to it's max in every dirrection. I will never forget the night that Russell realized that his back pain had decreased. We both realized that changes had occured with the metastatic tumors. Feeling so "yuck" it was difficult to find encouragement. For now, we have turned a corner, but I cannot say that it feels good. It should feel good, and in some ways it feels very good, but it also feels like a dark alley. I can understand your son's point of view. I too hope that this is the last of his disease. I doubt if we ever are done with the "cancer." My wish, that he can see how truely strong a person is, how strong "he" is, just to keep stepping forward each day. Take care, Russell's mom, Sharon

[Marge Pugh]

I feel every bit of your pain as any mother would seeing her son having to go through this torture but odds are he IS cured and you and he have to believe the worst is over. Chris and I leave Easter Sunday for Cleveland for his RPLND which I believe will be his cure. I am sure I will be needing your support as I care for him all next week post-op. As a mother, my prayers are with all our sons. LIVE STRONG for them!

[mstlyn]

I feel every bit of your pain as any mother would seeing her son having to go through this torture but odds are he IS cured and you and he have to believe the worst is over. Chris and I leave Easter Sunday for Cleveland for his RPLND which I believe will be his cure. I am sure I will be needing your support as I care for him all next week post-op. As a mother, my prayers are with all our sons. LIVE STRONG for them!

I have prayed for you and Chris, and in my prayers you both will remain. I will be here for you, as many others are. Let us know how things are going for Chris as soon as you can.
Thank you for being there ...

Tammy

[mstlyn]

End of chemo is such an odd time. Like a rubber band stretched to it's max in every dirrection. I will never forget the night that Russell realized that his back pain had decreased. We both realized that changes had occured with the metastatic tumors. Feeling so "yuck" it was difficult to find encouragement. For now, we have turned a corner, but I cannot say that it feels good. It should feel good, and in some ways it feels very good, but it also feels like a dark alley. I can understand your son's point of view. I too hope that this is the last of his disease. I doubt if we ever are done with the "cancer." My wish, that he can see how truely strong a person is, how strong "he" is, just to keep stepping forward each day. Take care, Russell's mom, Sharon

Hi Sharon,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. For everytime I read about experiences that are so similiar, it helps that I can say "this is a normal part of the process" ... Right now I need to catch up on some sleep. Anthony is really sawing logs, and I'm happy that I don't have to make him get up in the morning to have more chemicals poured into his body. It hurt a lot having to take him there to be poisoned. Strange how thankful I am that those chemicals exist so that my son can be ok again, yet I hate them too.