im curious.....

[DAWN82]

Hello all

I was thinking before about some things, and one thing that came to my mind was when it is ok to not have to worry about being careful when having sex. it is kind of an akward question to ask, but i have been wondering about this. Brian is almost 2 months post chemo. i know that there is concern that the chemo could harm me? when is it ok to not worry about that? one other thing, when can someone try and conceive a child after chemo? im not saying i am trying, i was just wondering

Dawn

[NavyHoldi99]

My oncologist always said that chemo is in and out of your body within 24 hours. That is the reason for all the fluids...to help flush it out of your system. So 2 months post chemo...I would think you are in the clear.

[Margaret]

The rule of thumb according to our doctors (by the way our urologist started his medical career in fertility) is 18 months post chemo is safe to try and get pregnant. Now, I have heard of some people 10 months post chemo get pregnant and have a healthy baby...but I would say to wait at least 18 months. During chemo, you should be using a barrier protection, even if you are on the pill...again, this is our doctor's opinion. Once chemo is over with, 90 days after his last treatment, you should be able to go back to only birth control pills and no need for barrier protection.

I had all these same questions. I hope this information is helpful.

[Margaret]

I also checked this website for what they considered safe (just in case my doctor was being too careful) and this is what they said:

"You may be afraid that you can pass on cancer cells to your partner during sex. This is not true. Cancer is not infectious. But you should use a condom if you are having chemotherapy, and for three months afterwards. Doctors don't know enough about how much of the drugs come through in the semen. So wearing a condom makes sure that your partner is as safe as possible.

It is sensible to use a condom or take precautions to prevent pregnancy for a while after radiotherapy or chemotherapy. This is because there may be a chance that your sperm have been affected by the treatment and this could cause abnormal development of a baby you father during this time. "

I know that for Boyce, even after chemo, where he slept in bed would turn the sheets a different color from the sweat from his pores. I think the chemo lingers in the body just due to what I witnessed first hand. But other people may not have had this happen to them during chemo, I am sure everyone is different.

[sldl1106]

All this conception talk got me wondering... if Rob did not have a bi-lateral RPLND does that mean that we could still conceive without medical help? For all the information we were given, I am still very fuzzy on the "yes-you-can-no-you-can't" regarding conception and the RPLND.

[Margaret]

All this conception talk got me wondering... if Rob did not have a bi-lateral RPLND does that mean that we could still conceive without medical help? For all the information we were given, I am still very fuzzy on the "yes-you-can-no-you-can't" regarding conception and the RPLND.

I will try to help. If Rob did not have the RPLND, then there was a chance that his sperm would have come back strong once chemo was over. Of course, there was also the chance that the cancer/chemo combo could have effected his sperm quality in a bad way. So once the chemo is over, you would have needed to get his sperm tested to see what the quality was.

The RPLND makes things a bit more complex because of the retro-grade issue. If Rob does not have retro-grade ejaculation, and he is producing sperm, then you may still be able to have a child the old fashioned way (again, he would need to be tested). If he does have retro-grade, I am not sure there is anyway to have a child with out medical help. But even with retro-grade, they have options with medical help to gather the sperm in other ways and do IVF to achieve pregnancy.

I hope I answered your question. Keep in mind, sometimes it take months, even years and some people have retro-grade go away. Boyce had retro-grade for a few months and then slowly we noticed the return of his fluid. What that fluid contains is a mystery as we are waiting the 18 months post chemo to have it tested for quality.

[sldl1106]

Thanks Margaret. I was curious because the doctors seem so dubious when you ask about conception, and they all seem to be most concerned with whether or not we banked sperm and if we already have children.

Not sure about the retrograde, which Dr. Sheinfeld explained Rob would almost definitely experience after his extensive surgery. In truth, we only did one "test drive" and it seemed fine. So I guess eventually we'll know if this is a definite concern or not.

How much longer do you have to wait to test w. Boyce?

[etim]

Good question

Good question, I am 5 days past single dose adjuvant Carboplatin and my wife is pregnant.

So I am just concerned about contaminating her and other 2 kids. Not quite like your situation, but similar.

I dug all I could on the subject and it appears that for Carboplatin itself the half life is something like 2-3 hours. 70% of the stuff comes out as such in 48-72 hours.

The rest of the Platinum is excreted with half life of about 6 days. So, I figure I will stop shedding Platinum in about a month (1/32 to 1/64 of the 30% will be left in my body).

So, for now I am confined to the basement couch I am perhaps too cautious so, I'll probably wait for a couple of weeks in reality

[Margaret]

Well to start, we decided we would wait the entire 18 months before even testing his 'fluid'...why test now, we can't use it even if it is healthy and of good quality

During your 'test drive' did you see any fluid? If not, it may return or never return. Even if it does not return, they can collect sperm from his urine or with other ways. They can use it for IVF and you can still get pregnant. I think you may be feeling what I was...That my husband is sick and having a child 'should' be second. But my husband getting better was always the first thing I thought about. Hard at times to be a caregiver and be worried about your husband but also we have dreams too and inquiring about your future or a baby should be okay.

Etim, my husband moved into the guest room during his chemo. Mainly because he really slept at funny times, moved around a lot in his sleep and was uncomfortable. I never considered him 'toxic' per se.

I hope my thoughts were helpful.

[DAWN82]

Thanks Margaret. I was curious because the doctors seem so dubious when you ask about conception, and they all seem to be most concerned with whether or not we banked sperm and if we already have children.

Not sure about the retrograde, which Dr. Sheinfeld explained Rob would almost definitely experience after his extensive surgery. In truth, we only did one "test drive" and it seemed fine. So I guess eventually we'll know if this is a definite concern or not.

How much longer do you have to wait to test w. Boyce?

So, Because Brian's surgery is also extensive, that means he will also have retrograde ejaculation?? hes going to be upset about that. dr. sheinfeld said it is possible, but not definate. does retrograde mean that he will not be able to enjoy sex? probably an off question

[NavyHoldi99]

So, Because Brian's surgery is also extensive, that means he will also have retrograde ejaculation?? hes going to be upset about that. dr. sheinfeld said it is possible, but not definate. does retrograde mean that he will not be able to enjoy sex? probably an off question

Aside from the obvious difference...everything else works and feels the same as before.

[Margaret]

So, Because Brian's surgery is also extensive, that means he will also have retrograde ejaculation?? hes going to be upset about that. dr. sheinfeld said it is possible, but not definate. does retrograde mean that he will not be able to enjoy sex? probably an off question

Retro-grade (although I am certain many of the men here will chime in with a more first hand account) should not cause any change in feeling during orgasm. The only difference he should notice will be a dry orgasm. He should be able to have a very healthy and fullfilling sex life post RPLND.

[DAWN82]

Retro-grade (although I am certain many of the men here will chime in with a more first hand account) should not cause any change in feeling during orgasm. The only difference he should notice will be a dry orgasm. He should be able to have a very healthy and fullfilling sex life post RPLND.

is retrograde PERMANANT? or is it temporary?

Dawn

[Margaret]

is retrograde PERMANANT? or is it temporary?

Dawn

For some it is permanant and for others the fluid returns after some healing time.

I would expect after surgery for a few months, he will most likely have retrograde. As he heals, you may see fluid return, but it is also possible that the fluid will never return. Dr. S will try very hard to save as many nerves as possible...but he will also not risk Brian's health in order to spare the nerves. He will remove the cancer and nodes and while doing so, save as much as he can.

No matter what happens will his surgery, Brian will still have all his feeling.

[David1969]

It has been about 9 months since my RPLND, I have always produced fluid since the op, but only in the last few weeks has it been close to be back to "normal"!!!!