just when i thought everything was going good....

[dollfin1204]

Dawn, I just read through the thread. I'm sorry for what you are having to feel right now. I know I would be feeling the exact same way.
After reading what everyone has wrote, it seems that they are all right. It probably isn't anything to worry about to much. I know that's easier said than done. Steve and I have seemed to be following in yours and Brians footsteps and when I read your first post in this thread my stomach turned. But everyone's responses made me feel better.
Keep strong!
Huggs
Sabrina

[sldl1106]

Dawn -

This happened to Rob also, the post is floating around here somewhere. It was around 12 or something, then went up a point-and-a-bit and I just freaked out. Everyone calmed me down, and the next labs showed another decrease of several points. I remember crying after talking to Mary Ann; she was happy that it had gone down also!

Margaret described it to me as this: bucketful of water with, say, blueberries floating in it. One time you dip your hand in, you come up with 15. Next time, 9. Next time, maybe 11. It just fluctuates sometimes, and that's normal.

Try to not give too much focus to it, (if you can) and wait for the next test.

[DAWN82]

Thank You Everyone..

thanks for the boosts.. but, its just soooooo scary because, they have never gone up before this past test and hes almost 2 months post chemo, im just afraid the cancer is coming back, it only went up .4, but to me its alot because its never gone up. what if the chemo is wearing off? im freaking!

dawn

[Russell's Mom]

Hang on Dawn! It seems just as we get our feet on the ground it starts to quake again. Notice that I live in Californina. With Russell it was the Bleo Tox. I think that it was occurring during chemo and they just kept passing me off as a worried mother. It is frightening and it seems like no one can really hear you!!! Reading through the posts however, it looks like Brian is in the right hands...they are looking and hearing. Just like Russell needed a Mom, Brian needs your happy and healthy reflections!!....his girlfriend. No one else can be that, if he doesn't have you there, he won't get that sweetness at all! Keep the balance!!! Livestrong, Sharon

[petep]

hi dawn -

it is scary how much these markers can control you...bhcg drove me nuts...

you want this to be a perfect science, black & white...read enough from even the experts, and you find anything over zero is elevated, then you read under 2 is fine...and some say under 5 is fine....

other sites say bhcg should never be elevated in males, ever....and then, I have an email from dr. einhorn saying there are some males that have elevated hcg and have no cancer and never will have it....he once wrote me and said if hcg was under 10 and there were no other signs of cancer on xrays or CT scans, he would never start chemo....

a good friend who works in a lab and conducts these tests reinforced what fed said...namely the reliability (from one test to the next) is not perfect and there is a margin of error...

In the end, I suppose this is what living as cancer patient on surveillance is about....the ups/downs etc....

I wish there was something I could say to relieve the anxiety...but there isn't really, beyond reinforcing this is a tiny jump, that many have gone thru, and all turns out fine...one day at a time...

pete

[dadmo]

Dawn:
It was Jason's HCG that kept elevating. It never got above 5 and then all on it own it began to drop.